How One Bad Relationship Followed Him Across The Globe
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“I graduated from law school and got engaged to the girl I had been with through university. We both applied for the same graduate program and ended up working in the same office in Canberra.
Three months before our wedding, I found out she was cheating on me with our mutual boss, so I broke it off with her. Long story short, it got really, really ugly and the two of us ended up in a very bitter court case over property and things.
Canberra is a pretty small city and the legal world is pretty bloody small there, too, and everywhere I went, I bumped into my ex. It was beginning to seriously get me down (her too, as it transpired), so I applied for an Australian government overseas development job in Tuvalu, a Pacific island with about an 11,000 population. It’s quite a prestigious job to get, with only two positions offered for a two-year contract on a rotating basis.
I was successful in the application and moved on-island to start my posting. Only to discover that my ex was the other successful applicant.
I spent the next two years sharing a tiny office on a tiny island with the person that I quite honestly loathed more than any other in the world.”
He Didn’t Mean To Be The Bearer Of Bad News
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“Years ago, my company was slowly going under, so I started looking for other jobs. I got a job with another company and put in my two weeks with my manager.
Me: ‘I’ve been offered another job and I’m taking it. I’m putting in my notice.’
Manager: ‘Oh, well we hate to lose you. Do you mind me asking where you will be going?’
Me: ‘I’m going to [company].’
Manager: ‘Shooooooooot…’
Me: ‘…’
Manager: ‘I applied for that position, too.’
Me: ‘I’m sorry to tell you that you didn’t get it.'”
That’s One Way To Sell Cars
“The little town I grew up in had these two car dealerships on opposite sides of town – one Chevy, one Ford.
They were bitter rivals. Attack ads, slanderous salesman, billboard wars, you name it.
When the owner of the Chevy dealership died, it came out he’d also owned the Ford dealership by way of a shell company. No one saw that coming, including a lot of the higher-ups who worked at the dealerships.”
How Two Different EMT Calls Were Connected
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“I’m a medic and one morning, we had a call for an older woman, she was in her 70s, if I remember right. She was having cardiac issues and was in compensated shock from a very low heart rate. From the time we got to her home to the time we were in the ambulance, she had gotten much worse. We paced her heart and she did well the rest of our hour ride to the hospital.
About 16 hours later, we were called for a rollover car accident. When we go there, we saw there was one male in the vehicle and he was unresponsive. The vehicle was upside down off the road. We got him out, but he was in very bad shape. He wasn’t breathing, so we intubated him and off to the hospital we went.
When we were almost to the hospital, which is 30 miles away, he went into traumatic cardiac arrest. He was dead by the time we got to the hospital.
While we were on the way to the hospital, we found his wallet. Since we didn’t know who he was, we opened it up to take a look. Inside was his badge. He was apparently a retired police officer. I remember from the morning, our first patient’s husband was a retired officer.
It was him. He was on his way to see his wife. Unfortunately, he stopped by the bar first.
While it wasn’t my job, I went with the nurse to talk to the wife and let her know what happened. She thanked me for being there for her family so much that day.”
No One Could Figure Out Why The Best Talent Kept Quitting
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“I worked for a bank at their call center as a workforce administrator. We had a supervisor with a higher than normal personnel turnover. People would be doing OK, then suddenly their numbers would drop, and they’d quit.
In one of those, the employee quitting made a big scene and called him out, insulted him, pushed him around and ended up being restrained by other coworkers.
At the HR meeting, the supervisor was going off on this guy, bringing up every single thing the guy did wrong. He was boasting a bit, too, about how he had to fix all of this dude’s mistakes.
The entire time, the guy sat silent, said nothing, just stared at whoever asked him something. When the HR rep asked if he had anything to add, he pulled out a tape recorder, and just… played recording after recording. Of what you ask? Of the supervisor literally threatening the guy. Harassing him, belittling him, and overall being a complete jerk to this guy.
Apparently, he would target overperforming agents and make their working environment absolutely dreadful to protect his position.
I’m told the supervisor simply stared at his feet and nodded when told he was fired. The agent, as I understand it, was also let go, but very well compensated.”
The Family Visit Ended Things Once And For All
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“When I was in college, I worked with a really young guy in a two-person office for 40+ hours a week for just under two years. I was pretty close to 30 at the time and I think he had just barely turned 20, so he sort of saw me as a mentor. Needless to say, we talked about a ton of things and became pretty good friends.
Anyway, a few months into knowing the guy, he got a new girlfriend. I heard about every date, their first kiss, their first fight, their first trip, their first time in bed. Pretty soon, the kid found himself in love. I had been married and divorced, so I shared many of the things I learned during my marriage (and life in general) so that this kid could make better decisions that I had made.
My girlfriend and I double-dated with him and his girlfriend a quite few times and despite being mistaken for their parents more than once, both of us thought they made a wonderful couple. Since something had come up last-minute and prevented him from taking her to her home during Thanksgiving, he was super excited to take her home to meet his folks over Christmas break. Much of his extended family was going to be there.
Within a few days, it all unraveled. He told her about family members that were going to be attending and she started recognizing people. They drew out family trees on paper and learned that they were first cousins – by blood, not by marriage. As neither were from Alabama, they ended their relationship. He had been saving up for an engagement ring.”
His Family Tree Just Got A Lot More Complicated
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“I used to work with a guy in his early 20s who, at the time of the story, was getting ready to go with his family for his first out of the country vacation. He was pretty excited and we were getting the play-by-play of all the things – where they were staying, what they were going to do, how he was preparing…
Specifically, he would need to get a passport, but his birth certificate had been lost. When the replacement one arrived, his ‘mother’s’ name wasn’t the woman he’d called mom his whole life, it was his ‘sister.’ Turns out his ‘sister’ had him super young and his grandparents basically took him on and raised them as their son and no one ever told him the truth. So his ‘sister’ was actually his mom and his mom and dad were actually Grandpa and Grandma. The real dad is unknown.
He took a few days off work to sort himself out, still went on the trip, still apparently had a blast.”
Why Workplace Romances Never Work Out
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“This isn’t my proudest moment either… but whatever.
I was 19 and I had just started a job at a new sushi restaurant. Well, the manager that was showing me around my first five days was young and pretty cute. She seemed flirtatious, but I wasn’t trying to push or assume anything because I was a new hire. Well, after that week, she went on a vacation for a month to the Philippines so I kind of forgot about her.
A month later, she returned and went out for a night on the town. So at 2:30 in the morning, I got a random call from her saying that she had been drinking and is now driving (which I hate) and she wanted to talk to someone. Anyway, after a lot of nonsense from her end, she ended up at my place because she needed to go to the bathroom (and I wanted her off the road).
She ended up deciding she couldn’t/shouldn’t drive and she wanted to stay the night. So I set up the extra futon for her (because she is my manager and I ain’t trying to cause no problems). Well, when I turned out the lights, she started getting talkative and flirtatious. Things escalated and I ended up stopping it before we went too far. At this point, it was 5 in the morning and I asked her, ‘You good to drive?’
She responded, ‘Yeah, I should probably get going. My husband is at home waiting for me.'”
A 9 Month Long Farce
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“This one guy I worked with was having a baby. He told me about his girlfriend, ‘Yeah she’s pretty big but she’s amazing, she’s the one for me.’ I didn’t know him very well but as he talked about the pregnancy and so forth, I gave him encouraging words and advice about how his life was going to change so much. We bonded a bit. His baby was supposed to be born right before Christmas and he missed our work Christmas party because his baby was being born! We expected him to be gone for paternity leave, but he showed up a few days later. I feared the worst, that the baby had died.
It turned out his girlfriend had been lying about being pregnant to spend more time with him. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but the fact that he brought up she was fat for no reason must have meant she was so fat you couldn’t tell whether she was pregnant or not. She showed him someone else’s ultrasounds, they talked about what they would name their baby, how they’d handle taking care of it, the works.
I don’t know what she thought was gonna happen when nine months passed and no baby. I guess it’s good she came clean though, a more diabolical person would have faked a miscarriage or something. But that was seriously messed up. Shortly after all this, the dude left, so I don’t really know how he handled it.”
They Had No Idea Those Cookies Would Land Them In The Hospital
“There was a cookie exchange at my work. An odd pairing cookie was a rosemary caramel cookie. It was so delicious, I had five on my break. During the day, I was so inspired (I worked in a bakery) and I was just having the best day. All my favorite songs came on. And then I started getting these burps. It tasted like the rosemary, but something was off. I started feeling weird and tingly before my lunch break. My hands started to feel odd. Now, being the mixer for the day, I worked with heavy machinery and knives. Soon a manager came by and asked if anyone had some cookies. A short while later, I found myself in a room with a handful of other people. All with odd issues, some were confused, and for others, their stomachs felt off. EMTs, poison control, local police, firefighters were all cramming into the room to examine us all.
Turns out that ‘odd pairing’ was weed cookies. We were stoned out of our minds.”
He Got Exactly What He Wanted, But Not For Long
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“I was at Bank of America during the banking crisis. Our CEO’s lifelong ambition had been to see the Wall Street banks humbled, which he achieved when all of them were forced to reincorporate as regular banks.
24 hours later, he was ousted.
He had literally one day to enjoy his victory before the rug was pulled from under him by the board. I was so moved, I e-mailed him (I’d never met him), he responded graciously to thank me for his support.
If they made a movie of that moment, folks would think it was made up.”
He Hated His Manager At First Sight
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“I had a manager at my high school job in fast food. She was overbearing, a micromanager, sucked up to the GM, she was such a pain! She always walked around like she was hot stuff because she was the youngest manager… like I even cared at all.
I didn’t like working with her at first because when you work in a soul-crushing job, people that enjoy it are annoying.
I was interested in some physical features, and as we spent a lot of time working together, over time, I started to appreciate her dedication…kind of. I never grew to care that much, but it was cool seeing someone care.
About six months in, I was driving to work and saw a lady pass out while driving a slam into a fence. I stopped and helped her, and while I was helping, my manager saw and stopped by (it was her day off) and wanted to make sure I wasn’t involved. It was the first time I had ever seen her outside of work and in normal clothes. That was when my crush got going. A couple of months later, she asked me to a movie and it was the last first date I ever had. A few months after that, I got a new job (that I ended up hating) and left, she got a CNA license and we both left the restaurant. To this day, she says that if the money was right, she would have worked there the rest of her life. She loved it.
She and I got married, I started working in IT, and when she had our oldest, we figured the finances were good (but tight), so she stayed home. With being a CNA where we live, over half her check would have gone to daycare anyways. We just had baby number two last year.”
His Attempt At A Joke Could Have Badly Backfired
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“I was working a new position in a new store for a company I had worked many years for. I try to develop very good relations with all my coworkers to help the day go by. I joke, I tease, and we sometimes would hang out after work.
One of my coworkers, we will call him James, would frequently tease me back. One day he wagged his finger and said, ‘Uh-uh, girlfriend,’ in what I believed to be a teasing manner.
Grabbing the moment to tease back, I stated, ‘Oh come on, James, only girls can get away with the head bob, uh-uh statements and we all know you’d make an ugly girl.’
James’ scraggly bearded face instantly burst into laughter as everyone around him looked terrified. He laughed and laughed and told me I didn’t understand it but I happened to say something really funny. Everyone else looked like the color had drained from their faces.
Turns out, James had been born a girl and I had met him three years after his full transition. He was good-natured about it. I told him to compliment his doctors who helped him because he was obviously living his true life that made him happy. Underneath it all, I was mortified and have never made a gendered joke since. You never know.”
Things You Overlook When You Find Reliable Musicians
“I met a dude at my local 24 Hour Fitness who was wearing a Shark Punch shirt. Since most people have no clue about that band, I immediately decided I needed to bro-out with this dude about his particular taste in music (metal). We got to talking and I found out he was a drummer, lived locally and wanted to start jam something evil. Awesome! We exchanged numbers and all that good stuff. Of course, actually meeting up with reliable musicians is much harder than it sounds, despite the enthusiasm.
Around the same time, I was working security at a local bar and met this random, cute girl who wasn’t from the area but was totally into me and wanted to hang out. We exchanged numbers and planned to meet up. When we finally did, we hit it off pretty well, but she mentioned that she was still kinda ‘dating around’ but really liked me and hoped that I was okay with that. I was totally okay with that because I was also doing the same thing. We hung out maybe one other time, but then shortly after that, she hit me with the, ‘Sorry, but I’m kinda dating this other guy for serious,’ line. I said I understood and moved on.
When gym guy and I finally managed to get together to jam, a friend of his was there to play bass with us. We got introduced, started talking about random stuff when gym guy happened to mention to the buddy something about the girl he was dating. He and I both started sharing our similarities in preferences for people we dated and I asked to see what she looked like. He was like, ‘Sorry dude, she doesn’t have any social media or anything like that, but I have a video of her at some restaurant we went to a few weeks back.’ He then pulled out his phone and showed me the video.
Me: ‘Aw, she’s cute!’
Him: ‘Yeah, I met her smoking outside of some bar in LA.’
Me: ‘Dude, she totally reminds me of this girl I was dating not too long ago. Whats her name?’
Him: ‘Kim.’
Me: ‘Wait, really? That’s so weird, I was dating a girl named Kim, too. What are the odds? Hold up, she has a Snapchat right?’
Him: ‘Yeah…why?’
Me: (I start trying to find her on Snap) ‘Dude whats her name on there?’
His friend was looking at the both of us like, ‘Oh no, oh no, oh no,’ and started laughing.
Both of us at the same time: ‘Kimber-Sleaze.’
The friend was dying of laughter at this point as we both came to the realization that we were the same dudes she ended up leaving/staying with.
We ended up jamming anyways.”
Their Strangely Knowledgable New Friend Wasn’t Who He Appeared To Be
“Several years ago, I went down to the New River Gorge with my wife (then fiancée) and a group of friends to camp and rock climb over memorial day weekend. Over the course of the trip, five of us decided that on the last day, instead of doing another climbing location, we were going to white water rafting. We booked with a guide company and showed up in the morning ready to go. We hopped on the bus to the launch site and when we got there, we were told that we were going to have an addition to our group of five. The guy who was introduced to us said he’d had too much to drink the night before and missed the first trip of the day that he and his friends had booked, but he lucked out since there was one open spot in the next trip! Great! We loaded up and started the trip, just chitchatting with our new rafting friend.
Over the course of the ride down, this guy seemed to know his way around a raft and seemed weirdly familiar with the river. At one point, our guide was pointing out a class two or three rapids section that he said was safe to swim through – this guy immediately jumps out of the raft, climbs up a rock in the middle of the river, and does a perfect 360 flip into the rapids!
Near the end of the trip, our guide hits us with the plot twist: we were his first ever group, this was his test, and our suspiciously knowledgeable addition was his supervisor! We were all blown away! We spent the rest of the trip just piecing together the missed clues in the best bamboozle of our lives. Needless to say, the trainee guide passed his test and got a great first review (and a nice tip), and we all got a great story.”