Man’s Worst Nightmare
“One time, I had to go clean up a ‘body fluid’ in the ER of the hospital I worked at. Guy had climbed over a razor wire-topped fence to get into some restricted area (I think a water district pumphouse).
On the way in, he slipped and the razor wire sliced his ballsack open. The fluid I was cleaning up was a mix of blood, urine, and what I can only assume was leakage from his colon. It was very disturbing, to say the least.”
Danger! High Voltage
“Working for a power utility back in the mid 90’s, we had this one guy who would steal power every chance he got. It got bad enough that we disconnected the line coming from the transformer to his house (we would have removed the transformer but it fed two other homes).
Well, one night we had a thunderstorm come through and knock out power in his neighborhood. Guess who thought this was a great time to climb up the pole and hook some wires back up?
I had to go out at 11:30 on a Friday night and help the coroner pull his charred body off the pole and replace the blown transformer.”
They Call Him The Fry Guy Now
“My brother’s friend typically worked the night shift at McDonald’s. One night, while doing the nightly cleaning duties, he decided he was going to go above and beyond by cleaning the metal dividers that separate the fryer tubs, as well as ignore the sign that says to wear insulated gloves when doing fryer maintenance.
Needless to say, he went elbow deep in a 300°F fryer and cooked his arm from elbow to fingertips, just like some chicken nuggets. The worst part was that another employee told him it would relieve the burn if he poured coffee cream on the wound, but instead I think that attributed to the infection he got later. For about a week, his arms were just a mass of blisters and puss. Gross.”
He Was Never The Same
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“We had a guy working in our data center who was kind of odd, but he was alright. One of his known tendencies was to be rather punctual, so when he didn’t show up to work one day, it caused immediate concern. After a few hours, the owner told some of the managers to go to his house and check up on him.
The head of customer service and the head of sales went to his house, only about 10 miles away, and knocked on his door. After no answer, they looked in the windows and saw the guy asleep on his couch. They banged on the windows to get his attention, and when he didn’t move, they called 911.
The fire department detected heavy levels of carbon monoxide and had to clear the area. Eventually, the EMTs were allowed to remove the guy, and thankfully, he was somehow still alive but was hospitalized for a while. The source was traced to a large diesel generator he had running in his basement and had he not been on the upper floor when he passed out, he might have been long dead.
When he returned, he was never quite the same. He always had headaches, was spacey, and his mood and behavior changed. He explained to us that he was ‘having a dispute the power company,’ but did not specify what this dispute was, or how long he was without electricity. Eventually, his job performance suffered too much, and he was let go.”
Why Would He Put That In His Mouth?!
“I was at a coworker’s house after we got off one night, just having a few drinks and hanging out, when a buddy of his showed up, pretty messed up out of his mind on something. My coworker has pet tarantulas and one had just molted, leaving a perfectly tarantula shaped shell.
My coworker took the shell out for us to look at, then put it down on the table. The high guy immediately grabbed it, shoved it into his mouth, and chowed down. His hysterical laughter at what he just did quickly turned to projectile vomit and him begging for water. He didn’t feel so good after and quickly left to go home, presumably to rethink his life choices.”
Quite The Bale Out
“At work, we had a guy who thought sleeping in the baler while covering himself with cardboard somehow made him a genius. One long night, we thought he was in the restroom, threw our cardboard into the baler, and turned it on.
We would have crushed the idiot if it weren’t for me, who suggested we empty the baler before we jammed and stopped it. We nearly crapped ourselves when he jumped out the thing and ran away to clock out and leave. We never saw him again, so I assume he quit or someone reported it and he was fired.
By the way, you can’t hear anything when the baler is on. That thing is about as loud as a train horn and it doesn’t stop until the thing has compressed and decompressed. Screaming wouldn’t have helped him as the sound of the baler would have drowned him out. I’m just glad I didn’t have to witness a human body being crushed and possibly explode while working a soul-crushing job. I’m already hating my life, I don’t need to see that kind of stuff in my life, too.”
Hate To Say I Told You So…
“I’d told a client over and over again that he cannot smoke while using oxygen. I told his doctor, all of his caseworkers, and all of his family. ‘You will literally burn and die if you keep lighting smokes while your cannula is in.’
Sure enough, he ended up admitted to the ER with severe facial burns and plastic tubing melted deep into what little remained of his skin. He lingered in the ICU for a couple of days and died. He set his own face on fire after a dozen warnings. He didn’t even have to quit smoking, all he had to do was take the tubing off before he lit up.”
A Truly Bad Habit Led To Something Worse
“A crew member was putting gas into a fleet truck and the idiot was lighting a smoke at the time. The fumes caught on fire and created a giant fireball that basically engulfed his face.
The security camera footage showed him running towards the building with his entire head in flames. He lost vision in one eye and has 3rd degrees burns on his face and neck, and our insurance didn’t pay the claim because it is clearly posted not to smoke when you are filling the tanks.”
Missing A Pizza Himself
“I once witnessed the aftermath of a kitchen accident that will forever haunt me. An employee at a pizza restaurant was cleaning the pizza skin roller (basically a machine with large solid metal drums inside a contained unit that when you drop the dough into the machine, it flattens it out to make a pizza).
He decided it would be smart to open the door covering the heavy metal rollers and bypass the safety switch so the rollers could be turned on without the protective door. He did this so he could apply pressure from a scraper to the rollers to clean them, which was much faster than manually advancing the rollers one notch at a time.
The result? His hand slipped while the metal rollers were spinning. It pulled off two fingers completely and crushed them beyond recovery, pulled one finger off at the second joint, and crushed the end of the fourth one. His thumb was unaffected. In addition to the damage to his fingers, his hand was completely degloved (all the skin from the wrist of his hand pulled completely off).
He had been warned twice before about doing this and told if he did it again he would be terminated. This was his third infraction, so he got the boot.”
A Fatal Forklift
“I used to work for a large brewery. We once got a fatality notice from a subsidiary in China.
A forklift worker wasn’t able to adjust his seat, so for whatever reason he decided to ask his buddy to come up behind him with ANOTHER forklift and push his seat for him with his forks, while he was still sitting in it. Crushed his aspirations of comfort, as well as his chest.”
Who Was The Real Idiot Here?
“I was away working with friends at 18, with three guys and a van. We were working at this place doing clearance for repossessed homes and properties.
It was lunchtime and we were messing around, driving the van around this field (I didn’t drive at the time, but I had a go).
My buddy told me to climb on the back, so without question, I climbed on the back of the van and stood on the step. He started to accelerate and went over a massive pothole which threw me up in the air.
I lost my grip on the handle and hinge I was holding onto, went flying, and ended up with a huge wound from my butt to my neck and across my whole back.”
Safety Schmafety
“My dad’s work consisted of him visiting workplaces (ranging from offices to construction sites) and checking if all laws and regulations were respected.
One day, a young, new janitor apprentice had to clean the workplace using a Karcher power washer and of course, it didn’t work. So he checked by looking directly into the hose, pulled the trigger, and tada! He lost one eye. The corporation got a sanction for not giving the apprentice the lessons tied to the equipment he had to use.
Another time, my dad was on a construction site during the winter (it’s really important to follow the rules because of the way the ground behaves in cold temperatures), and they had to build a cement fence.
The common way to do it is to put one pole then one panel, then another pole and the two other panels. But the construction worker didn’t see it this way; he wanted to get it done fast so he put one pole and all the panels, and what happened will shock you.
The panels fell on him, he had nowhere to go because there was a slope behind him, and he lost one leg. That time the company wasn’t considered at fault.”
Great Friends You’ve Got There
“Back in college, we had a drinking and driving exhibit strategically placed in front of the school pub. Four guys from my course came out and decided that the wrecked car would look good flipped over.
Well, along comes the course director who saw them in the act, and being wasted, they of course didn’t coordinate the drop of the car. Three of the guys stepped back and dropped the car, and unfortunately, the fourth guy was still under it.
The three other dudes ran in fear of being caught, leaving the friend pinned under the car. I rallied a few guys and got the car up so the guy could be dragged out. The aftermath was a leg broken in 19 places, a lot of recovery time, metal pins and plates, and a ruined career in the military as well as his future as a police officer.”
One Final Nap
“My brother-in-law was installing an automated warehouse system that used a robotic crane to put pallet loads of stuff on tall racks. Warning signs all over the place, no humans allowed, etc.
Second shift employee came in all hungover and climbed up in the rack to take a nap. The robot came by and stacks a 5-ton pallet of stuff on him. His death was instantaneous. Many additional safety warnings, monitored cameras, etc after that.”
He Was Used To His Coworker’s Stupidity, But This Was A Lot
“I was working in a dishroom, loading dishes while my dumb coworker was opening some new cutlery for us to wash. He was opening bread knives by, get this, grabbing the plastic packaging and yanking the knife out of it with the blade facing his hand
He ended up pulling one out and slicing half his hand in the process. The only way I knew he cut his hand (because I usually ignore whatever he’s up to) was that he managed to shoot blood all over the counter, the dishes on it, and the wall directly in front of me.
I ended up having to bleach everything, including the dishes that the servers would put directly on top of the puddles of blood. Yeah, I work with a bunch of idiots.”
A Carnie’s Life Is Never Easy
“Here’s a story from growing up in a poor part of Scotland. To set up the area I lived in, we had someone die from falling into an abandoned mine shaft and the only good thing we ever really did was discovering penicillin, which was because the lad didn’t clean up after himself.
So, next to my old secondary school was a theme park where a lot of local kids worked during the summer. This meant a bunch of 18-year-olds that barely know where their feet from their elbows had jobs operating somewhat complicated machinery. So this one kid had the job of operating a mini, rat-themed roller coaster. One day, it stopped midway through. So this kid operating the ride, instead of just getting a maintenance guy, decided to hop up on the track and just push the cart. He pushed the cart and tripped. In order to not fall off the side, he grabbed the cart, right as it went around a tight bend. The kid went flying off the ride and fell from pretty far up. Poor lad died soon after.”
It’s No Skin Off His…Well…
“I was working at a bonafide Mom and Pop Pizzeria towards the end of high school and they made their own meatballs. They took the raw meatballs, put them on your standard sheet tray, and baked ’em.
Well, one day a guy who’d worked there for a long time was taking said meatballs out of the oven. He only had one oven mitt on, and was using a rag to hold the other side of the tray. He accidentally tilted the sheet tray just enough so the boiling grease flowed right onto his hand and arm, halfway up to his elbow.
Never in my life have I heard a scream so perfectly expressive of absolute pain. He quickly sprinted to the sink and did what any rational person would and ran some cold water over the burn.
His skin fell off. His skin slid right off his hand like it was wrapped in tissues. I had heard about that happening in story-telling instances, like those of who witnessed Vietnam-era napalm attacks, but it was absolutely true. The look of sheer agony and terror on his face was unforgettable, him fully realizing that one’s skin falling off is not a good thing.
He had to wear a special glove for about a month or two after that, but for the most part made a full recovery. Be careful with boiling grease folks, it’s completely unforgiving and will mess you up.”
Have It Your Way
“I worked in a restaurant a few years ago. We hired lots of high school kids. Sometimes, no matter how many times you tell a person the correct way to do something, they do it their own way.
In this particular instance, a coworker was slicing onions with a huge chef knife instead of using the mandoline. You probably see where this is headed.
The onion rolled, and he sliced off most of his palm. I ran over, grabbed his hand, folded his palm back over, and wrapped it tightly in a towel. He wasn’t screaming or anything, I think he went right into shock.
It was pretty disgusting. I could see the layers of flesh/fat/bone, and there was so much blood. I’ll never forget it. The hospital was able to stitch his palm back on and I’m pretty sure he still works there.”
Who Could Have Guessed Improperly Stored Chemicals Could Cause Such Problems
“A kid was doing a garbage run at a movie theater I worked at in high school. I saw him go in the garbage room, only to come running out shirtless and screaming his head off two minutes later.
I ran into the garbage room and there is a black puddle on the ground. Sticking out of the puddle was his shirt sleeve…it was melting into the puddle. Long story short, a custodian has left industrial strength drain cleaner on a top shelf without a lid on.
The kid was reaching for some trash and knocked it over, spilling it all over his back. He had terrible, terrible burns. Apparently, he received a settlement near $1 million and returned to work for the same theater a couple years later. His story is actually featured in Workplace Hazardous Materials Information System training videos in our province now.”
Shouldn’t He Know Better?
“One of the first apartments I ever had was a proper slum. The landlord was a born-into-money spoiled jerk who was so cheap, I’d bet he’d straighten bent nails to save a penny.
I had a myriad of issues with the apartment, which he would always halfway fix. The place was an icebox the first (and only) winter I lived there. When I finally complained, he brought some old as heck space heater. This thing lasted about two weeks at most and then died.
His next solution was to tell me to turn on the oven and leave it open. I was incredulous and told him it was a bad idea, but he said to just do it as a short-term fix.
I did and it lasted about two weeks before blowing out. Who would have guessed? I let him know, and after about a week of a freezing apartment and microwaved meals, he came to replace the oven.
The one that was there was plugged in. The new one needed to be wired directly. Should be simple, right? Replace the outlet. He proceeded to do this without turning off the power to the kitchen. About three minutes in, he got shocked so bad, he had to sit down and recover.
I almost called an ambulance, but a few minutes later he seemed fine, and he was a prick anyway, so whatever. He eventually finished after taking my advice and turning off the power. The best part? His day job was as an elementary school shop teacher.”