Businesses have every right to ban an unruly customer, but sometimes their reasoning isn't always sound. Those who have experienced being banned share the crazy, hilarious or just downright strange reasons they were permanently not welcomed.
Pink Eye.
“Received a two week ban on from Reddit for asking whether or not I could get pink eye if I use my cell phone after farting on it from inside my back pocket.” (Source)
That’s Dedication.
“I was 24 and my wife 23. One night after attending a basketball game we and about six of our friends (all older) went out to a bar for a couple of drinks. We all sit down, order a round from the owner of the bar who serves us himself and start talking. After about five minutes I hear the bar phone ring, notice the owner talking and getting agitated and worked up. He slams the phone down, looks quickly around the bar (only about 15 other people in the place other than our table) and makes a b-line for our table. He then gets about two feet from my wife, points his finger directly in her face and literally screams at her ‘I need to see your ID right the f_ck now or all of you are out of here.’ I said something like ‘dude, chill out she’s of age’ (this is while she is getting her ID out of her purse). The owner looses his mind and grabs my beer from me and screams at me to leave or he is gonna kick my ass. Now, I am not a big guy, but I have been known to get in a scrap or two. So I didn’t say another word, just walked to the door, looked back and said ‘come on out.’ He politely refused my offer, but told all of my friends that were still in there that he would love to fight me if I ever sobered up (I didn’t find out about that until later….and that was my first beer of the night, so I was about as sober as I would ever be on a Saturday night back in the early 90’s). Well, it just so happens that I had the next two weeks off work. So I used my time productively as follows: Day one: ordered pizza, Chinese and chicken take out to the bar and told the guys taking my order that Tom the owner would pay for everything…and make sure not to deliver it until 9:00 p.m. (when they were busiest). Day two: super glue in all outdoor locks about six in the a.m. when the place was deserted. Day three: went to work and designed a ‘free pitcher of beer’ coupon and printed off two hundred copies. Then distributed them in the rough part of town that afternoon. Day four: Drove the country side with a buddy and collected all the road kill we could find and filled the outdoor patio with the corpses. Day five: put an add in the local Penny Saver Newspaper that said his bars parking lot would be a ‘used Christmas tree recycling center’ on this Sunday only (it was the only day his bar was closed down). Instructions in the ad said to just leave the trees anywhere and staff would sort them out on Monday. Word on the street was that ole Tom was gonna shoot whoever was f_cking with him if he found out who it was. After I heard that I kind of cooled my jets and didn’t f_ck with him except for once or twice a month I would collect call his bar from random pay phones from across the country (I traveled a lot back then). F_ck ole Tom….serving us a legal beer then getting in my wife’s face like that…f_ck him twice. So I am pretty sure I was banned from that place.” (Source)
Soggy Pancake.
“I got banned from using the toaster in the cafeteria for putting a pancake in it. It was a really soggy pancake and I wanted it crispy, but it just got stuck and lit on fire.” (Source)
High Score.
“I beat a game at the arcade too many times. I had the timing all worked out, so I got the grand-prize every time and the arcade owner didn’t like that.” (Source)
Walk Of Shame.
“I got banned from a water slide from a power hungry lifeguard (at the rec center) for taking the stairs 2 at a time. I had gotten into the habit of taking all stairs 2 at time so it was just habit. A__hat waited till I got all the way up to the top to tell me that I couldn’t go down and made me do the walk of shame past all the other kids. 15 years later and it still makes me furious!” (Source)
Queueing Up Justin Timberlake.
“I got banned from a local bar that turns into night club called The Grasshopper. I walked in with a few of my co-workers after a long day of work. We were all having some drinks to unwind. There was a juke box in the corner and we were all taking turns putting on our fav songs. Brad was telling us about how he went out to a club a few weekends ago and when a Justin Timberlake song came on, his cousin’s friend (who happened to be gay) hit on him because he thought he looked like Justin Timberlake. He said he thought it was flattering. I got kicked out and banned from this bar for queueing up 5 Justin Timberlake songs in a row.” (Source)
Hitting The Jackpot?
“I got banned from Gattis from winning the Jackpot on one of their dumb machines too many times. Got like 12,000 tickets that one day. A giant Pixie stick was like 50 tickets so I cleaned them out and had enough left for like a bouncy ball. They asked me not to come back.” (Source)
Trump.
“Someone on the subreddit /food was removing any post that had the word ‘Trump’ in it. I went to test it and made a comment that said Trump and I got banned from /food for brigading.” (Source)
The Loophole.
“Got banned from a museum because I told tourists about a loophole to get in for free. Security must’ve picked up on it and I was told to leave.” (Source)
Adult Subject Matter.
“I was told to take my business elsewhere after telling the service desk at a local grocery store that there was a little boy looking at the adult magazines and that I couldn’t believe they didn’t monitor that department better. Upon inspection, there was a little boy sitting on the floor, reading Popular Mechanics. The service desk person just looked at me, and I said well, it IS an adult magazine!” (Source)
Free Refills.
“Not really banned, but I got kicked out of a local Subway for abusing my free refill privileges. They started enforcing a ‘two free refills only’ rule after that.” (Source)
All-You-Can-Eat.
“Cici’s Pizza because of my a__hole cousins. They took the ‘all you can eat’ as an invitation to scarf down 26 slices a piece. I just thought I was cool hanging out with the older crew, and ended up being banned. We didn’t even get a ‘bye, thank you.’ For some perspective, this happened way back in ’98. It was my 2 larger than normal, football playing cousins, 2 of their teammates, and me. They were having a competition to see who could eat more slices of pizza, because that’s a normal thing to do, but were also being dicks with the way they handled things. They were grabbing whole pizzas from the buffet line as they came out, and bringing them to the table, as opposed to ordering them for the table, like they tend to allow you to. We were also there for what seemed the longest time, and it sucked. I remember the Street Fighter game having a quarter stuck in the coin return compartment, me pulling it out, and $4 worth of coins just tumbling out. It was the best day of my life! That day I learned about the beauties of Dhalsim. But my good fortune was short lived because my idiot self put in the $4 into the machine thinking that we would be there for a while, and that’s when we got kicked out. And I say banned because it was the only Cici’s in town, and it was a small town at that point in time. It’s also hard to miss a couple of 6 foot teenagers that are built like trucks. As for the ‘bye, thank you’ — that was a joke because when you walked in the people would yell ‘Hiiiiii, Weeelcome to CiCiiiiis’ and they would all yell, ‘Byeee, Thank youuuu’ when you left. I have those sounds engraved in my head because I used to always stand up and yell right there with them when I could.” (Source)
Problem Child.
“At about 15 I got banned from the local youth club (along with a bunch of my friends) for drinking in the disabled toilets. We were passing a bottle of vodka between us. Also got banned from the town’s Woolies for shoplifting pick and mix. I was THAT kind of kid. When I was 4 I was banned from the local nursery for such hijinks as – fastening the girl in front of me’s pigtails to her chair – so when she stood up her hair was yanked – and locking a nursery teacher in a cupboard – as well as being a little terror that bit, threw food and wouldn’t nap or play nicely. I never got total clarity on how I accomplished these feats as a FOUR YEAR OLD! Dad said I tied the girls pigtails, Mum said I pinned them (in which case it was the nursery’s own fault for letting a 4 year old have pins) and apparently I managed to lock the nursery teacher in the cupboard by putting a chair under the door handle when she went in for something – this also suggests some pretty lax supervision at this nursery. My mum had to find me another nursery school. I also got banned from our local dentists as a kid. For biting. In my defence – I was REALLY scared. Still am scared of dentists.” (Source)
A Mike Tyson Move.
“I got banned from school for biting someone in the face. Most of his cheek was missing and you could see the bone. I was trying to bite off his nose when a teacher dragged me away.” (Source)
A Refund Gone Wrong.
“I went to Belk to return a pair of pants that were falling apart a week after I got them. Now I’ve worn a size 34 since my freshman year in college and I’m a little slimmer now since I stopped playing sports and eating a ton to train. The salesman was this sassy as f_ck older guy. (Also african american and gay just to paint a picture of this guy) When I explained what happened all he said was “hmm well your size 34 days are probably behind you now.” I have pretty thick skin, but I did get a bit offended. I just took a breath and just tried to explain that the pants fit fine and that would not have anything to do with the foot hole stitching coming apart. He said he would not give me a refund for returning but would be willing to exchange them for the bigger size. Now I was mad, the pants fit fine and this guy was just insulting a customer so we kept arguing and after he offered to measure me in front of some of his coworker ladies and some customers I got fed up and said “you know what, f_ck you man just give me a refund here is the receipt” and you would have thought I was a 1860s plantation owner screaming hate speech by the reactions of him and the girls working with him. They told me I had to leave and was not welcome back at Belk and threatened to call security when I tried again for a refund (I thought that was way over the top.) Anyways I took them across town to the other store and was immediately given a refund so this guy was just a prick. Too bad I can’t go overpay for poorly made clothes at that Belk store anymore.” (Source)
Wrong Way.
“Climbed up the slide at a water park.” (Source)