Phones can be confusing, sure, but when the job could be on the line, people should double check it. These people sure didn't. One little slip up can cause a whole lot of awkwardness, losing a client, or even losing a job. How could it be so bad? Well, prepared to be surprised.
Whether it was funny or frightening, these stories sure are interesting and we wanted to get the best of the best. So, we looked throughout Reddit and found the most insane "Oh uh, we're on speaker phone" moments that ever happened in a professional setting. This content was edited for clarity.
140 People Were Listening
“I used to work security at a casino. I showed up to a shift one night to be told that my easy typical task of riding around the car parks to make sure there aren’t any babies /pets locked in cars was canceled and I’d be hauling my butt around on the main gaming floor all night.
I was annoyed and after the meeting, I went to the staff cafe to get a coffee and change. Down there, I plop down onto a couch and started complaining to one of my co-workers about my boss, the job, and specific colleagues. I was extremely insubordinate and critical of my own team, but it was ok. This was a private conversation.
Or so I thought until the floor supervisor found me and told me I was sitting on my radio’s PTT button. Every security officer, not to mention every surveillance operator (all up, some 140 individuals) on shift had just been treated to ten minutes of me blocking communication lines with my complaining. I wish I could have died right there. I still had 11.5 hours left on my shift.
I didn’t stay at that job long. A few weeks. Strictly speaking, nothing about that incident was sackable, but they built a case on minor infractions and stitched me up for it. I was way out of line. It was a shame, I actually really liked my boss.
I lived with that embarrassment for a few weeks. Most of my fellow security guys just felt bad for me. It was an embarrassing situation that could have happened to anyone. My direct boss was obviously very disappointed, and that crushed me because he was a good guy. One guy was happy to see me go, but that was a whole other story.”
They Already Knew They Were Doomed When The CEO Burst In
“A co-worker and I were on a conference call. Basically, it was the entire multinational IT team discussing some project coming up with some corporate bigwigs. So we we’re told what we needed to do, and one of the guys from Holland (I’ll call him Bjorn) went off on a rant complaining about the workload. He went on for a solid 20 minutes complaining and just talking in circles…but the thing was, this project wasn’t optional, we had to do it no matter what, everyone was in the same boat and he actually had one of the lightest workloads having the fewest users to support.
After his tirade is over, the focus switches to the UK team and we’re told what we need to do. We basically just said, ‘Okay, understood.’
I muted the phone, turn to my co-worker and said: ‘You see how much freaking easier it is to just agree to something instead of wasting everyone’s time complaining? It’s not like we’ve got a freaking choice. Just get the heck on with it. Is it just me or is every conference call like 10 minutes of useful info, followed by 45 minutes of Bjorn complaining?”
Then my co-worker chimes in, ‘Yeah, all he does is freaking whine…”I’m Bjorn, I’ve got to do some freaking work for once. It’s less than everyone else, but I’m going to whine about it for freaking hours.” Every time.’
Me: ‘Guy’s a loser. I’ve seen how many tickets he does a week. What he calls a busy week, I call an average Monday morning… but it’s the way he’ll keep whining about something that we can’t change. Doesn’t matter that it affects everyone, doesn’t matter that we’ve no choice but to suck it up and get on with it, he just talks in circles.”
Coworker: ‘Yeah, and why moan about it? It’s not like the company’s going to say, “Okay, we’ll cancel a multi-million-pound project because freaking Bjorn wants to spin in his chair all day.”‘
Then we noticed the call had gone completely silent. I looked at the phone and saw the mute button isn’t lit up. I pooped my pants and, for some reason, mute the phone like it will erase the last minute of conversation. There was dead air for what felt like an eternity, then we heard:
‘Ummm…UK, did you say something?’
My co-worker and I just stare at each other in horror. The company CEO is on the call, so was the main head of IT.
At that moment, the UK IT Head, whose office was just down the hall, booted the door open, barged into the room making cutthroat motions and mouthed, ‘YOU’RE NOT ON MUTE! YOU’RE NOT ON MUTE!’
We just stared back in horror and said: ‘We know!’
Then the call went, ‘Errr….okay, let’s carry on.’
At that point, we saw that the UK IT Head is actually trying not to laugh and we figured we can’t be in that deep of trouble… then the call went on as if nothing happened. Bjorn, uncharacteristically, stayed silent.
We didn’t get in the in trouble for it. No one complained and our boss wasn’t angry at us because we were basically saying, ‘This is our job, we have to do it so there’s no point in complaining,’ and Bjorn never complained probably because he knew we were right.
Now, we laugh about it…but when we realized the phone wasn’t muted and the call went silent, we nearly soiled ourselves.
Yeah, lessons were learned that day.
It’s standard practice on conference calls to mute your phone when you’re not talking to cut down on background noise. So unmute, speak, mute is something I’d done about a million times before…and this time I pushed the mute button and heard it beep. No reason to suspect it wasn’t muted.
What I’d actually done was ‘double clicked’ it. The contact on the button was a bit dodgy, so I muted then immediately unmuted.”
That’s Not What Anyone Would Want To Hear From A Doctor
“I’m a medic. We had a patient pinned behind a tractor and was found the next morning. He was still alive but not doing well. I knew he was going to die as soon as we moved the tractor, but I called the emergency department physician for any advice. This was on a radio, so no expectation of privacy or anything:
‘Doctor, we’re here with a 45-year-old male, pinned behind a tractor for the last 10-12 hours. Massive trauma noted. Patient is conscious but very weak. Vitals are……. We have two IOs going and have administered two liters of fluid and sodium bicarbonate. We have family here as well. Do you have any orders or request further information?’ Just spelling it out.
The dumb doctor responded, ‘Oh, he’s freaking dead.’
Yeah, he’s going to be, we’re going through the motions. And you just made it so much worse to comfort the family.
I was fine from that call. It was tough dealing with the family, but I was able to calm them down and get them together with the patient for some final moments. They said goodbye, wife and kids, and we had a clergy member (Pastor I think), pray with the patient and then he went out with the family and consoled them. We shut the barn, moved the tractor, and he died almost instantly.
The patient was at peace with it, it seemed. I was glad we were able to afford some last moments and goodbyes. Not something we see a lot in traumatic deaths.”
Classic Parental Slip Up
“I was on a conference Zoom (video) call with customers and my kids were upstairs being rather loud. I hit mute, ripped my headphones off and yelled: ‘KIDS, SHUT UP! DADDY IS ON A CALL, YOU’RE MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE! BE QUIET RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME.’
Satisfied, I turned back to my laptop to see, in horror, a black screen where my visage should have been and 4-5 customers, red-faced with laughter, some even with tears in their eyes.
I’d hit the ‘turn off camera’ button instead.”
At Least It Worked Out In Someone’s Favor!
“This didn’t happen to me but the Vice President I worked for.
Bluetooth headsets had just come out for the Blackberry phone and the VP got one to be cool. I asked for one but they were limited to upper management. The VP got on a call with other VPs, CIO, and CTO. He was in Vancouver, they were in San Francisco in a conference room with mics and speakers in the ceiling.
VP needed to pee really badly, so he muted the headset and went to the john. People in San Francisco suddenly stopped talking as their eyes turned up toward the ceiling. Someone asked, ‘Why does it sound like it’s raining all of a sudden?’ Early headsets had a bug that would randomly unmute without warning.
After the meeting, the VP stormed past my desk and threw the headset at me. ‘It’s yours now!’ And that’s how I got my first, company paid, Bluetooth headset.”
It Ended With Closing An Entire Office?
“I got called by a coworker from a different location, whom I never dealt with before. This is paraphrased from 10 years ago:
Coworker: ‘Hi, this is Jerry just calling you for the startup meeting for project X.’
Me: ‘Who are you?’
Coworker: ‘Jerry from the San Diego office, you’re the lead engineer on Project X that’s been going on since last year.’
There were some other talks about the software being used. I told him I’ve never used that software before for development.
Me: ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know why I’m assigned to this project as I’ve never heard of it before and I’ve never done work the San Diego office. If you’re trying to schedule installation and startup and expecting me to do it you’ve got a problem. I’ve been working on Y for the last year.’
Coworker: ‘Well, we’re meeting with the customer (I sensed uneasiness), what am I supposed to tell them?’
It was then that I realized I was on speaker.
Me: ‘Well, you’ll have to figure that out on your own as I’ve never been involved in the project and if it’s been going on for a year like you said, you’ve got other issues. I would also hope that you wouldn’t have me on speaker and I sincerely hope the customer isn’t there now.’ (I realized the customer was in the room).
Coworker: ‘Okay looks like we’ll have to get back to you.’
Turned out they wanted me as a scapegoat because they had already spent the customer’s money on a different project to cover cost overruns. We closed that office a month later.
Once I figured out what was going on, there was no way I was going down for it. I could tell he got really uncomfortable when I said something along the line of, ‘I hope you don’t have the customer there.’ I really wanted to say, ‘You are in trouble,’ but that would unprofessional.
I didn’t do anything wrong. I wasn’t on the project. If I was, it would’ve shown up on my timesheet as active.
I talked to my manager about it, which is probably what led them to shutting down that office.”
Don’t Mention The Nose!
“Back when I worked at Radioshack, there used to be a morning conference call from the District Manager who, I should note, was a colossally pompous, arrogant, petty, vindictive and generally incompetent prick. The general procedure was the store manager or manager-in-training (Asst. Manager) to take the call.
It was a well-known thing that most people would just mute the DM because it wasn’t really a MEETING, and more a chance for him to yammer inane pomposity at a captive audience. But he would ask the occasional question, so people did have to pay attention.
So one morning, I’m in there at stupid-o-clock and miserably groggy when our MIT calls me to the back room, excited as can be. I was wondering what the heck was going on and then he points to the phone. Low-level, barely audible, I heard what sounded like someone mumbling under our DM’s blather. It was profanity, it was there, and it was quiet.
Apparently, it wasn’t uncommon for multiple store managers/MITs to swear at/mock the DM while on mute because it was just that fat of a target. This guy hadn’t noticed he wasn’t muted and because the DM wasn’t listening, he seemed to think he was fine.
And then the guy mumbling shouted a quick load of profanity that ended with, ‘And your freaking nose is half your head, you look like a dumb muppet!’
The conference call goes FREAKING DEAD. The DM stumbled to a stop like a failing engine, and then a few seconds later screamed, ‘WHO THE HECK WAS THAT? YOU’RE FREAKING FIRED!’ into his phone.
Our MIT and I were nearly on the floor laughing our butts off. It was just too good, it was too surreal to pass up.
They found out who it was. And he was very fired. He was one of the MIT’s.
The best bit? It was true. The guy had a HUGE freaking nose. Colossal. Like you’d see it coming before he arrived.”
“I Called The Machine Every 4-Letter Word”
“I had to call my boss for help with a machine that would not cooperate. We were talking as I was tightening a bolt and it slipped. I split my knuckle open and called the machine every 4-letter word. It was the skin over the knuckle that split open. I finally stopped and he said, ‘Uh…I should have told you that you are on speaker with my family in the car.’ I could hear his wife laughing but could only imagine his daughter’s reaction. Blood everywhere and now a nice little scar. Like the emotional scar his daughter has from hearing me say things I rarely say to an adult.
He admitted he should have told me but he also knew I don’t normally go off like that. We both laughed about it but we also learned something that day.”
Goodbye To That Client
“I worked as an accountant and the day before had been talking with a co-worker about a newish (2nd year) client of ours, who I’ll call Mr. Smith. He had just received his tax return and wanted us to redo it with some expenses he’d missed. Nothing too unusual, but he’d done the same thing the year before, and Coworker and I felt a little odd about it.
So the next day, I get a phone call.
Coworker: ‘Hey, I was just talking to Mr. Smith…’
Me: ‘Oh man, what does that crook want THIS time?’
Coworker: ‘Uh, well, he’s on speaker with me here, and it turns out that the expenses were just in different categories than he’s used to, and we don’t have to change anything after all.’
Me: ‘Oh…’
Needless to say, Mr. Smith was NOT a 3rd-year client with us after that.
I got away with it with my boss calling me a dummy. Fortunately, I’d been there going on 15 years, and one slightly-sketchy client wasn’t something they were going to cut me over.”
Loud Mouth Mike Learned His Lession
“Loud Mouth Mike (LMM) shared an office with me, or at least it was an open-office sort of arrangement with the pair of us in our own room together. LMM loved his speaker-phone. If he ever picked up the handset, I’d know that he was talking about something sketchy. Usually, he’d sit leaned back in his chair, booming at the telephone, and me. Eventually, I had a talk with LMM and I let him know that I preferred not to be part of his every conversation. I asked him to use the handset at least on personal calls and maybe he should consider using it if I happened to be on the phone. Of course, he laughed at me, said it was no problem but then nothing changed. So, I prepared my second tactic and waited till he was on the line hands-free with Samantha, a rather pretty sales rep that he happened to have the hots for. While he was leaned back, loudly going over some accounts figures with her, I walked up to his desk, placed my brand new whoopie-cushion on the desk beside his phone, looked him in the eye and leaned on it. Huge flatulence noises ensued.
Horrified, he hung up on her. I sat back down on my side of the room, grinning at him and brandishing the red rubber toy. His phone rang and he picked up the handset and tried to explain it as some kind of bad connection static.”
It Wasn’t Just Overheard… It Was Broadcasted
“It was the radio station KROQ, Los Angeles area, morning drive. Mid 1980’s. Emilio Estevez was in the studio with the DJs – probably promoting some movie. The whole broadcast team was young and stupid, and the brilliant idea was discussed to call up Estevez’ friend, Rob Lowe.
Emilio Estevez said hello, Rob Lowe immediately started talking about the hot under-aged red-head he found at the party the night before. I forgot how far the conversation went, but it was pretty obvious that Rob Lowe ‘took the jailbait.’
A year or two later, he got involved in an adult-tape scandal with another underage girl, but KROQ listeners knew beforehand!”
He Needs To Learn How To Use His Phone
“I was working from my future in-law’s house back when my wife and I were still dating. I was working in the living room and hopped on an afternoon conference call with my boss and a couple of executive folks I needed to brief on something. The call hadn’t started yet, we were waiting for someone to join so it’s silent. All of my sudden, my future mother in law walked into the room, saw that her tiny dog had pooped on the rug, and exclaimed loudly, ‘DID YOU POOP ON THE RUG!?’ I was not on mute. Laughing ensued. One executive pointedly asked, ‘Who pooped on the rug?’
Another time, it was a Sunday night. We had a massive incident going on (I worked WebOps) related to a critical server being not coming back online after a reboot for routine maintenance that morning. I had been on this call since noon. Prior to having my Sunday interrupted by this call, I had promised to make dinner for my girlfriend (now wife). She came home from work, there was no dinner, but me in my office juggling two different phone calls and no dinner. She’s had enough of this (it was a routine occurrence at the time) and started packing to move out. Needless to say convincing her to not to leave while managing the mute button for two different phones was uh, difficult. My team, my customers and who knows what vendor reps all got to hear my desperate pleas that ‘this job will get better, it won’t be like this forever, I’m just new and trying to prove myself a team player.’ She did not leave and ordered Chinese food instead. My boss and I had a nice chat about work-life balance on Monday and things did indeed get better. We’re married 10 years next April so all good now. I don’t work in ops anymore.”
None Of The Execs Were Mature Enough To Handle That
“I wasn’t there to hear anything, but I saw the reactions and heard the story from a coworker later. I was working a contract job for a big company. I was on a small team within the 20 or so other people on various teams. Every teams’ team lead was in a 6-hour video conference call at their desks with our boss, the boss’ boss, and all the teams from other countries. Unless a certain person/team/office was being addressed, they had their mics muted. One specific office in China (I believe) had a huge group of guys just dozing off. They forgot to mute their mics and one guy farted so loud. Their team was giving him grief and of course had no idea. All the leads in my office were cracking up.
My lead un-muted his mic and said, ‘Nice.'”