Surprisingly, not all criminals are idiots. Just ask these law enforcers. They reveal the criminals that outsmarted them. Content has been edited for clarity purposes.
His Victims Were The Elders
“We had a local ‘burglar’ that would go through the roof of premises he robbed. He was very agile and would go up the drain pipes, take off the tiles and access the roof space. Most of the burglars we encountered who used climbing techniques were slim to skinny and usually agile, relatively small.
We had another ‘clever’ thief who would scout out properties owned by elderly people, he would then typically secure entry during the early hours of the morning by taking out the glass of the elderly victims’ windows by removing the putty and then putting it back when he left. In the United Kingdom, the old-style Victorian terraces often had sash windows with wooden frames where the glass was held in by some pretty old and decayed putty.
On gaining entry he would take maybe 10 pounds from a purse or wallet but leave the rest. It was not quite enough for the victim to report any concerns, with no signs of a break-in. Eventually, he selected a more ‘with it’ victim who reported his concern that he was the victim of theft to the local station, but he couldn’t work out how it was happening. The modus operandi was discovered by a community officer who had been sent around to discuss security improvements to the old Gentleman’s house and he discovered that the glass in the front bay window was being held in by a small amount of a nondrying oily putty.
The old Gentleman had let his front hedge grow which gave cover from view for the burglar to gain entry through the window once the glass was removed. The Officer called the scenes of crime officer (SOCO) and once we were alerted we started to quietly ask around the elderly community for similar ‘losses’ and looking at the windows of the targeted community. His victims were spread all over town and once we knew what to look for we realized how widespread the situation was. He had essentially farmed these elderly victims over a very long period of time, most of whom didn’t realize it was happening, putting the loss down to memory, or having misplaced the missing money or some such. His ‘flock’ was so large that it could be weeks before he ‘hit’ them again so the infrequency of his thefts also added to the confusion on the part of the victims.
The thief would replace the glass pane he had removed and put a non-drying putty or sometimes just tacked them to hold the glass in place so he could come back again and again. The windows he chose were always ground floor and always provided cover from view so he could get in and out without being seen. His downfall was that he must have become so convinced of his cleverness and infallibility over time that he got bold and left his prints in the putty. Once we realised what was happening, it was easy to find the victims, and thence to catch him.
We waited up at night on his ‘route’ and eventually caught him red-handed. He was slippery though very quick and agile and ran up a drainpipe and along the roofs of the terraced houses. The chase was interesting but the mistake climbers make is that what goes up must come down, so we just waited him out and caught him on a downspout.”
It Was Her Former Coworker
“There was a cashier that came very close to being caught but never was. This individual, we will call ‘Jane’ for privacy or what-not, employed several methods of cheating the system. And when she felt the heat, she would change up her game.
First, we believed Jane was double scanning items then returning the ‘extra’ after the customer would leave. It is important to note here that she worked at a Dollar Store where everything was only a dollar, so it would be easy to overlook certain things.
Next, Jane moved into straight-up not scanning certain items, she would just add the price of those items to whatever her computer said, take the money, make whatever change there was, give the customer the right amount, then pocket the difference.
Then she moved on to small orders, scanning everything and taking the person’s money, but not cashing out the order. When the next person would come up she would skip the first three things in their order, or however many she already had from the last person, and cash them out normally so it appeared as if they were correctly charged.
This time was when she got the closest to being caught, a customer was trying to make a return for something she bought, but it wasn’t on her receipt. There were several items at the top of her receipt that she didn’t buy.
Thinking we finally had the one killer piece of evidence we needed to end her reign of deceit, I brought the evidence to the supervisor. This was not ‘the final nail in the coffin’ so to speak, in fact, last I heard she still works there, not as a cashier though, so I guess that was a small victory.
So yeah, she did all the things, deep down in my heart I knew Jane did all these things, but Jane worked the system and kept her job.”
He Wrote A Book Called “My Life In Crime”
“The usual suspect got arrested in a light credit card fraud operation. While searching the house, detectives found a handwritten book titled, ‘My Life in Crime,’ which provided firsthand accounts of the many crimes he had committed over the years. Some known, others unknown. Anyway, with that kind of confession sitting around where a cop might find it, you’d think he was stupid.
Soon after his arrest and before trial, he escaped custody. He jumped into the Connecticut River on a moonless night and went under. Nobody saw the fellow swim onto shore and he disappeared into the night.
It was years later, we found out he had traveled south. There he got into some gambling stuff. And eventually opened a bank out of his hotel room, which was not a real bank. Then, when he or his mules would hit the tables, the money changers would call the bank to confirm the players had enough money to cover. Of course, they did.
They were stealing casino’s money, all over El Carib, the West Indies, and Central America, and then gambling with it. Needless to say, the games were easier when the player used the banks’ own money to cover losses.
The dude loved a posh life, mixed with celebs, and political circles. Then he got caught for real and did hard time. He used the time in prison as if it was a school and came out with a degree. Then he got extradited back to New England to face charges on the light credit card fraud enterprise he had left behind.
Smart criminal for sure, maybe a genius?”
Was He At The Hospital Or Not?
“There was one guy I stopped in my city, Liberty City. After he was looking to buy illegal substances. I issued him a warning and let him go as it’s pretty common. Then he sang like a bird regarding the people he was trying to buy from.
Anyway, the next day, I got a call from his parole officer who said he was alerted the guy was pulled over and wanted to verify that it was his guy that I stopped. I was a little confused at first but he went on to say that the day before, he was scheduled to meet with him but he had an excuse and bailed. His excuse was that he was in the hospital. Well when he spoke with him the following day, he was able to provide documentation that he had entered the hospital on day one and had left on day two. Well I had stopped him at one fifteen in the morning and after looking at the picture, it was 100 percent him.
Turns out the guy had checked in then out of the hospital on day one, then in and out again on day two. He then re-arranged half the paperwork to make it look like he was in the hospital overnight which would make my car stop of him appear like I mixed him up with someone else as well as give him a valid excuse to miss their meeting.
Not sure what happened to that guy but I thought it was pretty clever.”
“It Was Not Worth The Lawsuit”
“I used to be a Park Ranger with the Los Angeles Police Department. Once I rolled up on a homeless guy with a pipe to his lips inside a park’s fenced-in daycare area. It was after hours and he had broken the gate to enter. In his possession were tools, and a half trash bag full of Mary Jane.
I detained him without conflict, but he failed to have any form of ID or provide his name. Our unit rolled him to the nearest station to have him processed.
Part of the process of booking is to remove your weapons and secure them before entering the booking area. Our unit was city-wide and we had special lockers in the vehicle to locker our weapons. I was doing paperwork when we arrived, so my partner (more senior officer) was ready first. He opened the door to the suspect and the suspect immediately ‘superman-ed’ it out of the car onto the pavement. The suspect started screaming like he was being beaten, so other officers in the parking ran over to assist. The dude was clearly in pain from the maneuver, but no one wanted to touch him. A rescue ambulance was called and the watch Sergeant for the station walked out.
Now it was like one am, and there wasn’t any senior staff up right now. The watch sergeant didn’t want to accept the patient until a medical professional cleared him. Problem was, the suspect denied being seen by the ambulance crew. When that happened, we brought him to a local emergency room. The suspect refused treatment. Now what?
We called our watch Sergeant, then we called the captain. We called the station captain and no one knew what to do. So we were told to take him back to where we found him; it was not worth the lawsuit. So we did.”
“His Crime Changed How Bank Cards And Withdrawals Are Managed Forever”
“Possibly the smartest was former Metropolitan Police Detective Sergeant Rodney Whitchelo who was sentenced to 17 years imprisonment in the late 1980s.
A discussion paper had been created by a team of technical specialists in the Police who had been asked to look at the impact of (then) modern developments in technology on ordinary crime. One of the scenarios which we identified was the use of cash machines and bank cards linked to false accounts to withdraw blackmail payments without being caught.
Detective Sergeant Rodney Whitchelo either read the document or independently decided to act on the methodology we had outlined. He threatened a major supermarket chain that he would poison baby food if he was not paid off.
The money went into an account Detective Sergeant Rodney Whitchelo specified and he then traveled around withdrawing his loot from different cash machines. He used different techniques to avoid the few CCTV cameras around in those days, wearing a crash helmet, carrying a large mirror, and other things. And he evaded capture for a while. However, his luck ran out because he had never seen the separate document in which we described how to catch someone in this situation.
In the end, he only got away with about 32,000 pounds but his crime changed how bank cards and withdrawals are managed forever.”
Walmart Hack
“A couple worked at the Walmart’s home office annex, dedicated to the start up of the Walmart’s self check-outs for level one techs. Store employees would work with them to fix problems at the machines.
A few months after they got fired, they started going to Wal-Mart and scanning crazy amounts of stuff to self-checkouts, and walk out without paying. With a receipt. How did they do that?
They would put tape on one of the scanners so when the associate tried to scan their badge, it wouldn’t work. The workers had to input their four-digit ID into the computer to put up the assistance menu. And from there they would cancel the item.
These two knew how the system worked and would simply watch and see the code. When the associate would leave, they would get back into the menu and cancel the entire order. This would print a (suspended transaction) receipt, which looked the exact same as a normal receipt except it says *suspended transaction at the very bottom.
They didn’t get caught for over a year.”
Workers Or Thieves?
“One of my first stories was about a large electronics wholesaler in Upstate New York. A large truck backed to the loading bay at the start of the day. This was when cellphones were not as ubiquitous as they are today. Five guys jumped out, locked all the employees in the lunchroom, used the forklift on-site, filled a semi with high-end electronics, and drove away.
Hundreds of thousands of dollars of merchandise stolen in less than half an hour. Employees eventually broke out and called the cops, but the truck was long gone. They were never caught, however, some of the electronics eventually turned up in New York City.
Another story was about homeowners in a luxury house in a good neighborhood. They were on vacation when a moving truck pulled up to their house. It had legit markings, but the guys in jumpsuits emptied the entire home. They stole couture clothing, tens of thousands of jewelry, and high-end appliances.
Apparently this was a stolen truck and a team of smart, opportunistic thieves. No one questioned the theft, because the truck was an actual moving truck.”
Death Certificate
“While working as an Inspector in the District Attorney’s Career Criminal Task Force, I had a case with a guy who had committed a string of robberies. After we caught him, he was allowed to post bail. Surprise, surprise!
His ‘day job’ was working as a janitor at the county hospital. About a week before his case was set to come up for a trial, I received word from the Superior Court Clerk’s office that the case was going to be dismissed because the defendant had died.
Having spent a couple of months working on the case, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t a case of identification error, so I went to the Medical Examiner’s office to check their records, and the body, to be sure it was him. They had no record of anyone by that name having died, or being brought in.
I then checked the Court Clerk’s file and found a copy of a death certificate in the name of my suspect. Someone claiming to be from his attorney’s office had brought it in and asked to have the case dismissed.
Further investigation revealed that the number on the certificate was from ones stocked by the county hospital where our guy had his ‘day job’. It had been taken from partway down in the stack, so it wouldn’t be easily missed. Showing a photo spread to the clerk in the court officer who received it, revealed that the suspect was in fact the person who brought it in himself, claiming to be a messenger from his attorney.
We re-arrested him, charged him with another handful of crimes, and got him sent away for a good number of years. Still, I have to admit, it was a pretty brilliant plan. If I hadn’t been so ticked off about all that work going for nothing, and wanting to see the body, he would have gotten away with it.”
Tip From A Criminal
“When I was a young officer in the 1990s, we were chasing a suspect on foot and by car in the northern part of Oakland. It was early in the morning. maybe eight-thirty or so on a week day. Because of the time, our helicopter was not flying. After a couple of hours of yard searches, he was finally arrested.
I was assigned to guard him at the hospital. We struck up a good conversation as he awaited medical attention for minor scrapes and bruises sustained during his flight. He was very chatty.
Our dialogue led to how he evaded us for so long, given the number of officers we had on the scene and how the area was locked down tight.
He stated, ‘You have to look up!’
I was confused, so I asked what he meant by that.
He said, ‘I ran across the roofs and jumping from house to house. Remember to look up!’
He laughed with a big smile on his face. I might add he was wearing dress shoes the entire time. Truly a lesson I never forget.”
“It Is Punishable By Up To 10 Years In Canada”
“A couple of years ago, my marine officer friend got a call once about a suspected boat driver who was under the influence. In which here in Canada, it is treated the same as a ‘Driving Under The Influence’ offense in a car. The difference is when the boat is docked, it is considered a house, not a motor vehicle therefore you can drink onboard while docked. A single ‘Driving Under The Influence’ offense is punishable by up to 10 years on the first offense in Canada. For non-citizens having a ‘Driving Under The Influence’ offense from anywhere, makes you permanently inadmissible to Canada.
So my friend pulled up to the dock that the guy was at and found the guy with his boat tied up and a bottle in both hands. The guy claimed to have just opened the drinks after tying up the boat. So since the only other evidence was a witness who heard the guy on the marinas radio, they didn’t have enough to arrest him.”
Dungeon And Dragons Gone Bad
“Many decades ago, my dad worked bank robberies and other financial fraud cases. Most criminals he caught were not very smart at all the way as he recalled but there was a group of guys who got involved in some kind of payroll scheme that managed to successfully and anonymously embezzle a lot of cash. It involved skimming a few cents off of each paycheck from tens of thousands of checks at a time on each payday for some big companies. This was only possible because it was before the age when everything was digital as a given, and they got access to the physical payrolls, modified them, and then paid themselves out the difference. Somehow everything still added upon the books and nobody was likely to notice the one or two cents missing from their own check.
These guys had code names inspired by their dungeon and dragons’ group like ‘wizard,’ and ‘troll.’.
Well some years after, my dad eventually caught these guys. He was called in for an interview for another embezzlement case of some kind. They were doing the good-cop-bad-cop routine and my dad was supposed to play bad cop. But the guy looked familiar and kept glancing at my dad nervously like he thought he was familiar too. So he just stayed quiet until a few minutes later, it clicked.
My dad said, ‘Hey wait a minute! I know you… you’re the troll!’
The other agent in the room at that point just sat back while my dad, who was supposed to be bad-cop, just started shooting chatting with this guy, buttering him up, reminiscing about what a good case that was and how good a job this guy and his friends did before they were caught. They still got the information they needed and closed another case.”
He Did 68 Burglaries All In Manhattan
“We once had a burglar who would cut a little corner of a plate glass window with a glasscutter, pop it out to set off the alarm, walk away, and hide close by. After the cops would respond and inspect the building, seeing that it was secure, they would clear the call. The burglar would then return, break in, and burglarize the store because the alarm would not go off again. This was in the early ’90s and he was doing this all over Manhattan.
I put two uniforms on patrol in an unmarked car and we got a hit. I realized who it was and told the unmarked to stay nearby and observe. Sure enough, he came back. We waited until he was inside. Then we moved in and locked him up. We closed out 68 burglaries in all of Manhattan and put him out of business. He pled guilty and was sentenced to 10–15 years. He was a predicate felon.”
“The Guy Was Smuggling For Pablo Escobar”
“My dad is an attorney and had two clients: one who had an old huge Chevy Nova with a very well hidden switch under the dash. He would flip the switch to make the brake lights go off, then go in front of someone and hit the brakes. They won several claims from insurance companies.
The second client was flying into small international airports carrying normal-looking checked bags. He flew in from Canada every time with small puddle jumpers.
Turns out what he was actually doing was smuggling immense amounts of coke. He refused to say a word to cops or in his own trial. Just pled out, and went to jail. Turns out the guy was smuggling for Pablo Escobar and would have been killed if he talked.”
He Acted Normal
“This criminal was really smart and cunning. What he did was that he stole cell phones (iPhone). He went to a building and when he saw a room that led to a similar staircase, he made it look like one more inhabit with his room number, knob, and everything then published the cell phone. When the person who would ‘buy his cell phone’ came, he entered his ‘room to look for the phone,’ and ran away.
The best thing was when they caught him since he acted like a madman, they had to send him to an asylum. But there, he acted ‘normal,’ so he just left. Once they had papers to get him out of there and take him to jail, the guy ate the papers and they just let him go.”