15 relatives and friends of murderers reveal little red flags they noticed long before these horrible tragedies.
“That’s why he killed.”
“My cousin killed one of his classmates some years ago. He always struggled socially, he did have some mental problems. He would often talk about war and similar kinds of things, like recent mass murders and tragedies. That’s why he killed, he needed to know what it was like. He knew a classmate walked through the woods on his way home, so he hid and waited for him, and jumped out and stabbed him as he walked past. He said he panicked when the victim started screaming, so he stabbed him over and over again.” source
“Had his children help…”
“My uncle shot a man and had his children help drag the body to the mud so the pigs could eat it. I wouldn’t say there were huge red flags. But he would have my cousins and aunt steal from us whenever they would visit. With that said, he was super nice to us and it was pretty shocking to find out what he did.”
“Even his own brother was shocked.”
“My grandfather died and my grandmother remarried a pretty great guy, Ron. Ron had a brother, Robert. When we visited, we would play and take with Robert. During the same time period, he picked up a drifter, killed her, and threw her body off a bridge. He eventually was caught and the family was devastated. He then confessed to as many as 48 murders. There were times he came to visit while we all lived in Colorado Springs and he killed people. There was no warning sign. As a kid, nothing seemed off about him. Even his own brother was shocked.” source
“He was always a very moody person.”
“In the 1950s, my paternal grandparents died in a murder-suicide. My grandfather shot my grandmother in their kitchen and then went outside and hung himself. I first heard about this from my mother when I was probably about 13, she told me that my father told her this but that she didn’t know whether or not it was true (my dad, apparently, was a compulsive liar) but when I got in touch with my father’s siblings later they confirmed it. According to them my grandfather was always a very moody person. He would go days at a time not speaking to anyone and doing nothing but drinking alone. My grandmother was very meek, a bit of a shut-in, and while she was more affectionate to the family than my grandfather she also kept to herself and didn’t do anything more than she had to for the kids.”
“The one memory that really stands out to me is…”
“Not a relative, but I went to high school with the victim and met the murderer, her mother, several times. Her mother was extremely psychotic, and had just divorced her husband. The mother didn’t seem to be super controlling or strict, but she was buying and hoarding pain medication. The one memory that really stands out to me is how she told my friend’s mother that she was planning on killing herself and her children to spite her husband. When Christmas break was over I heard about how she took a rifle and shot the girl, her brother, and herself.”
“But he relapsed on meth and…”
“My cousin always had problems. He got into drugs very early and showed signs of psychosis as early as his late teens after he began using PCP. When he began doing meth he stole from his mother and stepfather. He was never violent, but super inappropriate with boundaries like breaking into family members’ houses while they weren’t home and just chilling there. He cleaned up, had a baby, and got some health care a year or two back. We thought he was doing better, but he relapsed on meth and shot into a car with 6 people in it. He killed one woman and injured 3.” source
“In a moment of rage”
“A guy I went to high school with ended up shooting his adoptive father in a moment of rage (he immediately turned himself in after realizing what he’d done.) In school I remember he dated 3 girls I know, and all of them broke up with him because he was aggressive and clingy. He was also the ‘bad-boy,’ definitely was doing drugs, dressed very poorly, that sort of thing.” source
“What I remember vividly is how…”
“Became pen pals with a bunk mate from camp. She stopped writing after a while. Turns out she butchered grandma in her sleep and had to go to juvie. What I remember vividly is how needy she was during camp. Always needed you to smile or wave back at her. Guess her grandma didn’t feel like it one day.” source
“All of a sudden one day…”
“I went to high school and played football with a guy who randomly killed a guy with a machete. He was honestly one of the nicest people I’ve met and really funny and genuine. He lived with adopted parents but still had a relationship with his biological mom, who lived nearby. All of a sudden one day, she takes him back into custody and he doesn’t go to school with us anymore. He played at Texas A&M for two seasons before freaking out and dropping out of school. Then about a year later,I read that he randomly murdered a guy with a machete on a jogging trail, and called the police on himself.”
“You could tell he just wasn’t…”
“My neighbor’s dad came home one day and killed his wife then shot himself on the front lawn. I heard the gunshots. I had met the dad maybe once or twice prior and you could tell he just wasn’t all there. He was twitchy. Like when he was contemplating something his eyes would bug out of his head and dart all over the room instead of just staring off into space like the majority of people do. When you asked him a question it would be like you were startling him. But he didn’t do drugs. The mom/wife was always quiet, never made eye contact with anyone.” source
“But now I realize something was wrong.”
“My dad shot my mom and himself when I was outside in the car. I would have never thought of my father as a murderer. He was the best dad a child could have (it seemed.) I remember two instances of him trying to hurt my mother, and at the time it was..normal? But now I realize something was wrong.” source
“My boyfriend’s dad murdered…”
“My boyfriend’s dad murdered his mom 10 years ago. No red flags or signs, they were just going through a divorce and had an argument. She stabbed him with a kitchen knife, and he snapped and killed her with a samurai sword that they had on display in the home.”
“There were a million red flags.”
“My ex boyfriend is now in prison for manslaughter. Long story short, I was 18 years old and 32 weeks pregnant. My ex came home drunk, punched me in the stomach, then passed out upstairs. He was extremely abusive on a daily basis. I had an emergency c-section, but the baby passed 8 days later. There were a million red flags. He abused me, abused his mother, accused me of cheating when I wasn’t allowed to leave the house, have a phone, or talk to anyone. He also killed every animal he’d bring home because he thought it was funny.” source
“Warning signs were…”
“My dad’s maternal grandmother shot her husband in the forehead with a .22 long before I was born. Warning signs were her having bruises and the occasional broken bone. Apparently one day she was just waiting with the gun for him to come home drunk.”
“Had regular nightmares, thrashed in her sleep.”
“This person failed at murder, but certainly attempted murder. It was a rage attack with a kitchen knife. She was a narcissist, self-centered and entitled. It made reasoning with her completely impossible. “Because I said so” or “because I don’t want to” was a completely acceptable excuse for herself, but of course with was not acceptable from anyone else. She was also angry. Had regular nightmares, thrashed in her sleep.” source