Servers see the absolute worst in people and sometimes, there's no better way to respond than with sweet, sarcastic comments. These servers share the one-liners and acts of paybacks they did to the absolute rudest customers they ever met.
*Content has been edited for clarity.
He Got His Sausage Pizza Alright
He decides to personally remake the pizza. This time he slops a crapton of cheese on there (more than before) and arranges the sausages in…yep…a big ol’ man ‘sausage’ on the pie. He then uses sliced bits of pepperoni to spell out ‘Eat Balls, on the house’ above and below the glorious junk made of sausage. We all think it’s ingenious. He hands it to the delivery guy and says ‘No charge-this one’s on the house.’ That was a good day.”
This Diner’s Final Swing Caused This Waiter’s Patience To Go Right Out The Window
“This guy was a regular, and also a total jerk. He would snap his fingers/yell across the restaurant to get my attention, snottily mumble orders instead of asking for things like a normal person, completely ignore me if I came to the table and he didn’t need anything, etc. The event in question was on a busy weekend. I was the only server (it was a small restaurant that only sat 40-ish people) and was running around like a madwoman because most of the tables were filled and there was one ‘big’ party (8 people) there as well. This party was seated next to jerk’s table. I admittedly hadn’t checked on his group since bringing them their food, but I hadn’t been gone long. I had a tray of plates for the big party in my hand, and as I was moving towards their table, jerkbag decided to get my attention by swinging his arm out into the aisle, catching me in the legs. I could’ve fallen, plates would’ve broken, and very hot food could’ve gone all over people, namely the little kids who were seated at the end of the table.
I put the tray down and lost it at the guy. I was quiet at first, but the angrier I got, the louder I got until I was yelling at him about how his obscenely rude, childish behavior could have seriously burned little kids, injured me, caused damage to the restaurant and potentially gotten us sued, just because he wanted a freaking refill.
To my surprise, people started applauding at the end of my tirade, I didn’t get fired that night, and Mr. Jerk didn’t really quit being a jerk, but he was certainly quieter. Given his attitude I’m surprised he didn’t complain to the owner about my behavior, but I’m not gonna complain.”
“She Was A Hero To All Servers That Day”
“I worked at a chain sports bar. The servers did everything from serving the food to bussing the table. One of my coworkers had this lady who was one of the rudest people to ever come into the restaurant. We had a wing special going on and, of course, this is what the lady ordered. When you order wings it comes in 2 boats. One boat is for the wings and the other is for the bones. This lady tried every wing sauce then ordered. After the order was brought to her, she demanded it was too spicy though she ate more than half of the wings, and requested a different sauce. She was then mad because the server did exchange what wings were too spicy for another sauce, but only the same amount that she had left to eat. The lady caused a scene with the server, then proceeded to dump her bones around the table. The server had to pick up these with her hands. So the server picked up the bones and put them in a boat, then threw them on the lady and told her, ‘Do not freaking come back!’ The server then quit that day for she knew she would be fired. She was then rehired month later. She was a hero to all servers that day.”
“We Don’t Serve Your Kind Here”
“I work at a chain pizza place in a small town, so many of our customers are regulars that visit 2-3 times a week. One such customer has been dubbed Old Grouchy Jerk Willowy Beard by our store manager. He’s probably 55-60, has a huge white Duck Dynasty-style beard, and is racist. Not casually, passively racist like most people in the South. He is incredibly, unabashedly racist.
We have one black guy on our payroll, and OGJWB won’t have anything to do with him. If he’s working the front counter, this guy will stand there and stare at the menu like no one is there until a white employee comes to take his order. Every time he orders while the black dude is there, Willowy Beard will nod toward him and ask ‘Is he gon’ touch it?’ If we say yes, he’ll just walk out.
Our store manager says we have to ‘pick our battles’ and we’re not allowed to be rude to him or refuse him service, though we all agree he’s a massive jerknozzle. One day, while the manager wasn’t there, I was working the front counter. He came in, and I just said in my sweetest customer voice ‘I’m sorry, sir. We don’t serve your kind here.’
I’m not sure what his expression was – he always wears sunglasses – but he just stood there looking at me. I just kept smiling until he called me a witch under his breath and walked out.
Now there are two people at my store he won’t talk to.”
Better Think Twice Before Taking A Bite
“I’ve worked in a restaurant for 5 years, I have no problem dealing with difficult customers that’s not a problem. But when I’m treated like a servant, ridiculed and used as a source of entertainment for the other people at your table to show how much power you have over the common man, I’ll spit in your food. And I’ve done it twice in my five years in a restaurant. It is the only thing that allows me to keep on serving your dumb butt with a smile so I don’t lose my cool with you.”
After He Threatened Not To Tip Her, She’d Give Him The Most Passive-Aggressive Service Ever
“I worked as a server at a bar and this guy sitting in my section was a total jerk to me all night, even though I was sweet to him. After taking care of him for about an hour, I was incredibly frustrated, but still giving excellent service. Then he said something along the lines of ‘If you want a tip, you’re gonna have to do better than that sweetheart!’ That’s when I thought of the perfect petty plan to ruin his meal and teach him a well-deserved lesson.