These women share their experiences serving sugar daddies.
“Like Any Job, It’s A Mixed Bag”
“I was one on and off for years. Like any job, it’s a mixed bag. Like any job, it gets old after a while. The big difference between it and a ‘straight’ job is that you control everything, which also means that all the risks are on you to mitigate to the best of your ability. You pick who to meet and make an arrangement with, you set your hours, you get cash to do with as you please. That might all sound great, but it can be horrible if you don’t have excellent street smarts and intuition. You HAVE to be hyper-aware to do it safely. You will be alone with men who you don’t know well, who feel like you owe them something (because you do if you want to get paid. This job is 100 percent paid companionship, including physical intimacy in almost all cases).
There’s also some myth that this work is unskilled. It’s definitely not. Being a sugar baby takes a lot of natural and learned social abilities. You have to be able to play girlfriend to a wide variety of men, not to mention have some physical abilities worth paying for. It’s a challenging job. Ninety percent of it is being able to talk about anything while making him feel like the center and king of your universe for those hours every week. That’s not easy with someone who you would never probably date for free. It requires patience and intuitive people skills to do that every week for a long time.
That being said, it came naturally to me, and I never ended up in a bad situation. I enjoyed it while I enjoyed it, then I quit. Knowing when to get out and having a plan to do so is another important factor in being a sugar baby.”
It Didn’t Work Out
“I tried being a sugar baby through a website. He flew me to New York, reminded me of Hank from ‘Breaking Bad’ but grossed me out and admitted he was trying to build a harem. He sucked through his dentures constantly. To his credit, he acknowledged I was uncomfortable and bought a plane ticket for me to go home early.”
You Maintain All Control
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“Former sugar baby here! It’s something I did for a few months, and it was a great way to help me out of a difficult financial situation.
To start off, before any sugar relationship starts, there is usually a platonic meet and greet over coffee/dinner/drinks so both parties can see if they actually like each other. Out of every three meet and greets I went to, I only saw one again. There’s no physical intimacy and usually, no money exchanged (although I have been given money at meet and greets a few times). Sometimes you will also discuss allowance at the meet and greet, but you can also do this before or after. The allowance is agreed upon before any actual dates, and it can either be a monthly or weekly amount or pay per meet (PPM). I used to do PPM.
Once that’s established, you start having dates with your sugar daddy. These can be anything from hotel meet-ups for just fooling around, to going to an art show, dinner, and drinks, before heading back to his place for physical intimacy. It’s never said out loud, but fooling around is expected. In my experience, most guys who are sugar daddies are very busy businessmen who don’t have the time or energy to sustain a real relationship. The money ensures that everything will go smoothly, and they still get a genuine (or what I make seem to be genuine) emotional, fun, and intimate experience. I enjoyed sugaring when I did it because it was a good way for me to make money, while still being in control of who I spent time with.”
“It Was Probably One Of My Favorite Jobs”
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“I made online arrangements similar to sugaring in college. I exclusively offered ‘Online Girlfriend Experiences’ where a guy would pay me to act like his girlfriend online, including sending explicit pictures but without my face in any of the photos.
While I don’t want to do it again, it was probably one of my favorite jobs. The money was fantastic, and I had complete control over whoever I worked with. If they were rude, I could end the arrangement.
Despite a hard rule of not showing my face and other safety measures, a lot of guys would open up to me, tell me about their life, and send PG pictures of themselves. My average client was generally slightly overweight, average looking, and socially awkward. There’s a misconception that only men who are very unattractive or old pay for these things. I had my fair share of men who were divorced, married, and/or conventionally good looking. Generally, they were either too busy or too shy to maintain a real relationship. Most of my men were just lonely.
Most of my clients were very kind and interested in getting to know me and my personality. This kind of work isn’t unskilled. You have to have people skills rivaling a therapist and physical skills rivaling an adult entertainer.
Of course, you occasionally have the bad eggs. One of the creepiest men I worked with was a very good looking married man with young children. He also liked to send me PG pictures of his wife behind her back at the grocery store, driving, etc. Basically, he got off on talking to me while spending time with his wife. Eventually, this creeped me out enough to end it.”
“Creepy, Lying Weirdos”
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“I met up with a few men from a website. There are nothing but creepy, lying jerks on that site. Here are two men who stick out the most from my experience:
The first was a commercial airline pilot from across the country, who was very good looking, especially for being in his mid-40s. He didn’t have much to say, so I thought he would be one of those guys that evaporated after a few texts. He was rude to me texting, so I didn’t care if he contacted me again. He did, though, and he ‘hinted’ at naked pictures. I gave in and sent him some. After that, I could not get rid of him. He would pop up and ask for more, and send me some of himself. We did this for at least three years. Finally, he told me he would fly to meet me. He did. He was weird. We went to a bar, and he would not make eye contact. He would stare at the multiple TVs every time I tried to converse. He touched my thigh with his thumb and index fingers the entire date. We ended up making out at his hotel room, but nothing more. From what I experienced with his physical behavior, he obviously watched a lot of adult movies. He came to see me again a few months later. We started to fool around and he, reluctantly, used protection after I insisted.
He never gave me any money, no trips (and he was a pilot), no gifts. It ended when he sent me a message stating he would hop a flight to see me one evening. He couldn’t make it because he was in training, and he couldn’t get out of it, but he never contacted me to say he couldn’t make it. I texted him the next day saying that he stood me up. He sent me a rude text back and said it was his work’s fault. Never heard from him again. That was it.
The second guy was from San Francisco and didn’t post his pictures on his profile. We chatted a lot on the phone and texted each other frequently. He wasn’t good looking. He was shorter than me (I’m 5 foot 9 inches) and looked like Nick from that ’80s sitcom Cheers. He was missing a front tooth. He told me he had just gotten divorced, so he wasn’t looking for a relationship yet. He gave me a pseudonym. When I figured it out and asked about it, he gave me this long-winded, weird reason why he used a fake name. I got an uneasy feeling but dismissed it. He seemed like an okay guy. He showed interest in me, allowed me to use his address to look for a job in San Francisco, and showed concern for my well-being, too. He even offered to send me some money when I told him I was broke.
He wanted to meet up in Nashville, and I canceled. He wanted to meet up in San Diego, and he canceled last minute, saying his mom had cancer. We kept in touch and he kept offering me to fly me to San Francisco to be with him. Finally, I flew to San Francisco on my own. We had dinner and drinks. He came across as passive-aggressive. He kept telling our waiter to tell another table to stop being so loud. He had to fly to New York while I was there, but he kept wanting me to come over and to take me to the Four Seasons. He was constantly demanding we fool around, but I just didn’t feel comfortable.
After I got home, he offered to rent me an apartment close to him in San Francisco. He even CC’d me on the email to the landlord. He bought me airline ticket to come to San Francisco and start my new life. I ended up chickening out.
We chatted a bit after that, but he never responded to an email and text I sent to him. I took the hint. That was it.
Fast forward to a year or so later. I get back on this site, and there is his profile. He had shaved five years off his age, and this time he had pictures. Here’s where it gets more interesting. I Googled him and found a short bio of him on his new company’s website. It said that he was married to an opera singer (the one he said he had divorced) and they had homes in Sonoma, California and San Francisco. I looked at his Instagram pictures, and there they were — having dinner, site seeing in Paris, kissing and hugging.
I looked him up on that website, and HE IS STILL ON THERE. His wife has no clue. Who knows what would have happened if I moved to be with him. He’s a liar, and who knows what else.
It is a BIG RISK, and something can happen. I recommend making your own money and staying safe.”
“It Very Much Works For Me”
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“I have done a bit of sugaring here and there. I personally find Seeking Arrangement to be full of salt daddies (men who don’t have enough excess funds to be maintaining the lavish lifestyle they seek). I’ve had much greater success through other means, such as discussing arrangements with pre-existing clients, in-person chance meetings, or through internet forums.
Physical intimacy is expected. The idea that sugaring is primarily about talking and drinking is very naive. While companionship and the ability to navigate social situations is incredibly important to succeed as a sugar baby, I do wish people would stop downplaying the physical element of this line of work.
There is nothing wrong with paying for fooling around and companionship. For many business-minded men, it makes more sense to seek a lovely girl who comes willingly to your hotel room/house fully prepared to fool around in nice underwear, than spend all your time and money wining and dining uninterested women. I am more turned on by humor and personality than physical appearance, so it very much works for me.”
‘Sugaring’ Helped Her Through A Rough Patch
“I was a sugar baby when I was younger. I’ve always been neutral towards it; I might do it again if I was single and hit hard times, but it’s not that glamorous, especially when you don’t have any money, to begin with, and all the gifts go into boring stuff like bills, groceries, and school. He did help me through a rough patch in my life though, so I’m thankful for that.
It was all very casual, and I know people often have a more professional approach to this. We didn’t have an agreement or anything like that. He’d just ask if I wanted or needed something, I’d tell him and then he’d either give me money for it or buy it himself and give to me. I was a bit shy about asking for stuff at first, but he assured me it was fine. I think the most expensive thing he bought for me was a nice city bike.”
It’s Good Money, But A Lot Of Work
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“I’ve been a sugar baby for about a year now. I was having trouble finding work and always liked older men, so I put the two together. I’m plus-size, and I thought I wouldn’t have any luck, but I do surprisingly well. I’ve had a couple CEOs and an attorney. I get to meet interesting people and have a lot of opportunities to travel.
It’s a lot of work, though. You need to market yourself, look put together and be prepared to fool around with some old guys. It had really high points and lows. Sugar daddies usually do a monthly allowance or pay per meet, it always depends on the schedule for me.”
Being An On-Call Girlfriend
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“It’s been on and off for me. My family is well off financially; however, I’m not the kind of person who would expect my mom to cater to my every whim and need, so that’s why I decided to get a sugar daddy.
The process usually goes something like this: you go for lunch/dinner/drinks for a meet and greet, and if you choose to continue, an arrangement will be discussed. This can be anything from meeting five times a month and you pay $500 per week, $10,000 monthly, or $1,000 PPM (pay per meet). From then on, your dates can range from holidays to going to a work function or simply going to the movies and dinner afterward. Essentially, you’re an on-call girlfriend/boyfriend.
My arrangement was that I meet a few times a month in exchange for $5,000 per month. I would get all the lovely perks, such as shopping sprees at designer stores, cosmetic work, and his black Amex card; just whatever I wanted (within reason, of course).”
You Have To Be Sugar Daddy Material
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“I made a profile on a sugar daddy website one time. I had gotten out of a three-year relationship about six months previous. My ex (who I had been head-over-heels for) already had a new girlfriend. My attitude was kind of, ‘screw love, I’m marrying for money.’ I only had the profile for maybe a month or so, tops.
Anyways, most of the guys on there were older (40+), and I was 22. There would be no way I could go through with actually meeting one of them, have him buy me a bunch of stuff, and then have to sleep with him. Gross.
There was one guy I actually met. He was in his late-20s, but I still couldn’t go through with the arrangement. He took me shopping, but I didn’t buy one thing. That was the first and only time a guy has taken me out to stores and offer to buy me whatever I want. What’s kind of ironic, though, is that’s also the first and only time I’ve been out shopping and couldn’t find one single thing I wanted. I didn’t fool around with him either. We texted a few times after that, but I never saw him again.
I guess I’m not sugar daddy material. I wouldn’t mind if my significant other pampered me, but having some random guy, who I’m only interested in letting him buy me things is not my cup of tea.”
The Physical Aspect Was Fine, But Not The Conversation
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“I was a college student in NYC, and to be perfectly honest, I don’t have many financial problems. I had an ample amount of financial aid that covers my tuition, but what I hated was relying on my parents for money. I used to work in high school in LA, but when my savings from that went dry, I looked for other jobs but found that it was too difficult to work and go to college at the same time.
That’s when I discovered sugar daddies. I read articles about them and found that most girls would find a long-term daddy. This sounded too tedious to me — most rich men don’t want to think that you’re ONLY after them for their money, and like some level of attention and spoiling. I am an emotionally detached person, so in my profile, I specified that I was not looking to be anyone’s girlfriend.
It’s surprising how fast the replies come in. I learned to be smart at separating the guys into categories. Some were creepy, some wanted too much from me (vacations, spending nights, etc.), some simply didn’t offer enough money, and some were very unattractive (yes, shallow, I know. But the whole site is shallow).
I agreed on $1,500 to be paid bi-weekly directly to my bank account by a daddy named Adam. I saw him for the first time at a nice dinner, and I could tell he was charmed by me. He hadn’t booked a hotel room or anything that night, and I could tell he didn’t feel comfortable with me going to his place, so we parted with a hug. I saw him again the week after, and he booked a hotel room, where we fooled around. The funny thing is, I never saw him again after that. He stopped responding to my text messages. My hunch is that he realized that I treated the whole interaction as a transaction, which was completely true.
I came back to LA for the summer and realized again that I loved the easy money of being a sugar baby. Look pretty once a week and get paid to fool around — it was great. So I did it again, this time settling for a dude named Ben. He paid me $800 every time I saw him (usually once a week), and the fooling around was fun.
I broke it off as college started again, but I have to say that I would continue to have a sugar daddy in the near future. The only thing I dislike about it (from my experience anyways) is having to act interested and be funny and cute in conversations. Obviously, our visits wouldn’t just be me walking in the door and dropping my clothes — there was some conversation first. I learned a lot about both of the sugar daddies I had, but the pressure to be interesting is slightly too much for me.”
“I Don’t Regret It At All”
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“I had a wonderful sugar daddy experience, but it was more lowkey and less flashy than the image most people have. I was 24, looking for friends with benefits, and figured ‘What the heck?’ and posted an ad searching for my ‘daddy.’
This guy in his 40s answers. He loves music, plays an instrument, and is an artist — all things right up my alley. He’s not ugly or gross, but not really my type. Whatever. We ended up connecting. It was like we were meant to meet, it was quite strange. We became great friends. We fooled around, but I could tell he respected me more than just any sugar baby. And, eventually, I wanted to fool around with him. He gave me money after every visit, very nonchalantly. We just never spoke of it.
It was an ideal situation for sure. I don’t know how I got so lucky. We’re still in touch, but the sugar relationship fizzled out last year. I don’t regret it at all, but of course, I am hesitant to share with friends for fear of judgment.”
It Was Exhausting
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“It was worth it at the time, for a while. I made a profile on a sugar daddy dating website because I thought, ‘hey, if I’m going to put myself out there to date casually anyway, why don’t I put myself out there and see if any rich dudes want to also buy me stuff?‘ For as long as I was interested in the whole thing, I was talking to many guys and actually seeing one.
We had some fun together. Nights in nice hotels, really nice dinners, he’d buy me presents and stuff. He was kind of needy, though, and it became annoying to have to be so ‘on’ all the time. You’re really acting as someone’s fantasy woman and that, to me, was exhausting. We only saw each other for maybe two months.
I can’t really imagine myself wanting to dip my toes back into that particular lake. I’m 23 now which, honestly, feels like it’s a little above the age range most of these men are looking to date. My curiosity was satisfied.”
There Was Nothing Physical About Her Arrangement
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“I had three sugar daddies. One was in his 50s, one in his 40s, one in his 20s. I met two off a sugar daddy website and one randomly in a mall. I didn’t have physical relationships with any of them.
The one in his 50s was involved in the restaurant business. He was married with kids. He was very polite and respectful; he seemed to genuinely care about me. He loved taking me shopping and buying me whatever I wanted. Usually, purchases were in the $1,000-$5,000 range because I didn’t want to take advantage of him, but once or twice he spent more. A lot more. I ended things because he was becoming too emotionally invested in me, and I couldn’t offer him the same.
The one in his 40s had retired early and lived on a houseboat. He was arrogant and looking for me to be a sort of trophy. He paid me in experiences. Eventually, I ended things because he tried to kiss me and I didn’t want to get involved in that side of things.
The one in his 20s was the one I randomly met. He wouldn’t listen when I said I didn’t want a relationship because he didn’t want one either — he was Christian and used me as practice for resisting temptation. He’s the only one who ever gave me straight cash. I ended things with him because he got kind of creepy.
Overall, it was fun! I’d do it again, but I’m married now.”