Technical Support
People that work in customer service truly do not get enough credit for dealing with the horrific people that they encounter on a daily basis. That sentiment is even further amplified with customer service workers that handle technology. I’m not going to point any fingers but some age demographics are a lot worse at technology than others. Those certain age demographics also usually have the least amount of patience with customer service representatives. Our friend, “James,” is the complete embodiment of one of the brave individuals I’m referring to.
James does technical support in the worst environment of all, a call center at his company’s headquarters. In my opinion, call center workers are the most heroic of all customer service employees. There is something about communicating through a phone that gives the dregs of society the courage to be absolutely ruthless towards the customer service worker on the other end of the line. Combine that with sitting in a poorly lit room wearing a headset all day and those add up to some truly terrible working conditions.
At the time of our story, James had put in over four years working in technical support for the call center. That’s over a thousand days of James getting chewed out through his headset for a customer’s problem that he contributed absolutely nothing to. Needless to say, James had developed a thick skin when it came to verbal lashings from customers.
Despite his years of experience, James encountered one customer that absolutely floored him.
It all started on a completely normal, by call center standards, Saturday morning of work.
~
Troubleshooting
James being a weekend call center employee immediately adds to his willingness to do a job that no one else is willing to do. I could not imagine getting up on a Saturday morning, driving to work, and getting berated on the phone all day. I think I would rather do literally any other job but good for James for having thicker skin than me.
The call came in after James had been at work for less than thirty minutes.
He answered the call and said, “Hello this is James from Singular. How may I help you?”
The man on the other end responded, “Yes, hello, this is ‘Blake.’ I just woke up to my wife and kids complaining that there is no internet and the television isn’t working either.”
I’m imagining that Blake works a regular nine-to-five office job during the week and he absolutely couldn’t wait to sleep in on Saturday morning. He probably went to bed on Friday night thrilled at the idea of getting to sleep in on that Saturday and his dreams were immediately crushed by his complaining wife and kids. I know we started off talking about the heinous things that customer service workers encounter, but poor Blake really seems to be going through it.
James responded, “Yikes, that’s quite inconvenient. I’m going to check to see where the issue might be and try to fix that as soon as possible for you. Would you be able to provide your address so I can perform a scan to assess your signal strength?”
Blake obliged and provided his address.
After running his scan, James said, “It looks like there is absolutely no signal coming from your house so I am going to try a basic troubleshoot first. Do you know where the modem is located in your house, sir?”
Blake responded, “Yes, it’s right next to my front door.”
James asked, “Good. Could you please tell me which lights are on it?”
Blake answered, “There are a couple of lights on but not as many as usual.”
James asked, “Is the online light on?”
“No,” Blake responded.
James said, “Okay, that means your modem isn’t receiving any signal. I’m going to have to test if the problem is in the modem or if it’s the signal around your house. For that, I need you to turn off your modem for about thirty seconds. Will you please do that for me?”
Blake responded, “Ummm no?”
~
Turn It Off and Back On Again
Confused, James said, “I’m sorry?”
Blake responded, “That sort of thing is your job. I’m not touching that modem.”
Just like that, Blake has turned into a “Brad” right before our eyes. He started off as a sympathetic figure who was just trying to sleep in on Saturday morning and heel turned his way into being just another obnoxious prick with a customer service complaint. James has thick skin from years of customers like this so I’m sure he will know exactly how to handle it.
James responded, “You only need to pull out the power cable, wait thirty seconds, and plug it back in.”
Blake doubled down, “As I said, that’s your job. Send someone over to fix it.”
James couldn’t tell if Blake was joking or not. Regardless, he was taken aback by the turn that their conversation had taken. Was he possessed by a demon mid-conversation, James wondered to himself.
James responded, “Sir, there is a very basic troubleshoot that we need to run with all of our technical calls that solve ninety perc-“
Blake cut him off, “I don’t care! I’m not getting paid for this so I’m not doing your job! Now send someone over!”
I’ve seen a lot of small things trigger Karens and Brads into psychotic fits of rage but being asked to restart a modem might be a new record. James tried the most basic technical support advice, turn it off and back on again, and Blake absolutely lost his mind. I’m sure this rage was directed at his wife and kids but like always, the customer service representative ended up being the target.
James retorted, “I can’t send a technician over just to restart your modem, sir.”
Blake snapped, “You can and you will! And you’ll compensate me for the time that I haven’t received your services!”
~
“Just James, Sir”
James responded, “I don’t care much for your tone, sir. Either you can cooperate with our basic troubleshoot or I cannot help you.”
“I don’t care much for your tone, sir,” is the customer service equivalent of, “You can go ‘forget’ yourself.” James is displaying the traits of a customer service veteran so far. Clearly, he has no interest in accommodating Blake, who has no intention of cooperating, and rightfully so. I’m sure that some customer service representatives would have tucked their tail between their legs and apologized to Blake by now and even tried to send someone to his house but not James. This doesn’t seem like the first handling a prick over the phone rodeo for James.
Blake snapped, “You’ve got a pretty big mouth there, buddy! What’s your name? I’ll issue a complaint against you!”
James responded, “As I said at the beginning of the call, my name is James, sir.”
Blake demanded, “James what?”
James answered, “Just James, sir.”
Blake questioned, “Scared to give me your last name, huh?”
I feel like being apprehensive to give a random person your full name over the phone is pretty reasonable. Especially when they are in the middle of berating you for absolutely no reason. It’s pretty amusing that Blake thinks he has any power in this situation as a result of threatening to issue a complaint against James. I personally don’t think many employees in customer service positions are scared of complaints against them anymore. Brads and Karens took away the power of complaints.
James responded, “No, I’m just not obligated to give it to you. You have been very rude to me so you don’t deserve to get my full name.”
Blake fired back, “You think you’re so high and mighty because you’re on the phone! I know where your headquarters are! I’m driving over there right now and you better make sure you have your eyes wide open when you come out, James,” in a mocking tone.
~
Second Line
James laughed at the thought. Blake lived one hundred and seventy-five miles from the headquarters, only had his first name, and had absolutely no idea what he looked like.
James responded, “If you would rather drive three hours in each direction rather than taking thirty seconds to restart your modem, you’re welcome to do so. I’m terminating the call now and issuing a threat warning. Have a lovely day.”
James hung up before Blake could respond and reported the altercation to his manager. His manager made note of it and forwarded Blake’s information to the second line of customer service.
I love that the company has a threat warning as if this same exact situation is commonplace for customer service representatives. That would certainly explain why James handled the altercation so well. Who knew that technical issues brought out violent threats from so many customers.
Five minutes later, James was back at work.
He answered his phone and said, “Good morning, this is James from-“
The voice on the other line cut him off and said, “Ha! There you are! Do you think you can just hang up on me? I’m taking this to court! I’m canceling our services as of right now!”
It was Blake again.
I’m sure that James was shaken to his core that Blake was canceling his services. I hope James didn’t lose any sleep that night over losing such a valued customer. That is the second instance where Blake has assumed that he has more power than he truly has. He’s making a customer service complaint to a giant television and internet provider, not some mom-and-pop restaurant. I doubt Blake’s money will be missed.
James responded, “I’ve reported your violent threat, which is recorded. Our second line of customer service should be reaching out to you shortly. I’ll add that you want to terminate your contract. Goodbye.”
James hung up the phone again. Thankfully that was the last he had heard from Blake.
A couple of months later, his manager informed him that Blake had actually taken the case to court. Given that it wasn’t very clear what exactly Blake was suing them over, he lost without much of a fight. His services were canceled five months prior to his contract ending and he still had to pay the remainder of his contract.
Hopefully, his wife and kids kept bothering him about the internet and television all that time, James thought.
~
Thoughts From The Author
The conversation between James and Blake was going so smooth until James made even the smallest request of Blake. I’m actually shocked that Blake didn’t try restarting the modem before calling technical support. That is the first thing that most people try whether they have the slightest hint of what they are doing or not.
Regardless, this might be the most egregious case of an obnoxious customer expecting a customer service representative to bend over backward for them. Blake really thought that he was such a valued customer that James would have to send someone out to his house to unplug his modem. They don’t value you like that, Blake. What a complete lack of self-awareness.
Blake suing the company over his internet going out and not even remotely cooperating with technical support is proof that literally, anyone can start a lawsuit. What attorney in their right mind took that case? I’m sure that the judge couldn’t contain his laughter when he got the full story. Blake is an entitled moron and found a way to share that with as many people as possible.
I also love that Blake’s first reaction was to turn into Vin Diesel when James wouldn’t give him his full name. There is no way that Blake could have gotten into his car and stayed mad for the entire three-hour drive to the headquarters. I would have given it thirty minutes into the drive before Blake realized he was an idiot.
James was likely trained to appease most requests made by customers and even he couldn’t believe the lack of self-awareness of Blake. Also, is the second line of customer service the line that handles all of the crazies? If James was the first line, I can’t even imagine how thick the skin of the second line is.
~