Therapists need to have strong mental strength to listen to their clients' problems on a daily basis. Most of the time the problems are similar from client to client since everyone has encounters with money and relationships. Sometimes though their clients' problems get really weird.
I Have An Addiction
“Intake clinician here. ‘What brings you in today?’ ‘I’m here for porn addiction.’ At this point, not the weirdest thing I’ve heard, let’s go with that. ‘Okay, tell me about it’. ‘I watch it three times a week, for 15 minutes or so at a time. My girlfriend said I’m an addict and forced me to come in.’ I see lots of very extreme cases, but this was so minor that it made me stop for a moment. I sent them to couples’ counseling.”
Box Clippings
“One client of mine bites and eats his fingernails. Gross, but not unheard of. Then I learn he stores his fingernails in a box in his room to save them for a snack later. A little grosser, but he’s about 9 so I’m hoping he will grow out of it. What finally made me want to vomit was learning that when anyone in his family clips their nails, FINGERS OR TOES, they give him the clippings to add to his box. So when he’s eating nails from the box they could belong to his mother, father, or siblings. Yes, I’ve addressed the parents about enabling this behavior, but it is still happening.”
That’s Too Much
“I had a client once who was less than 8 years old, and had once taken a snack from the fridge without permission. Her mother responded by locking the fridge, cabinets, and all the rooms that were not this child’s bedroom. Had quite a time explaining why that wasn’t really a reasonable reaction.”
Nice Tie
“A client was going to probate court and thought he’d dress up by putting a non slip sock on his collar as a tie. Trying to be supportive I told him, ‘Nice tie.’ To which he replied, ‘It’s not a tie it’s a sock stupid.'”
Don’t Look Under The Bed
“Had a client who we found out was storing his own sh-t under his bed. He would then eat his sh-t for a snack. I guess I should add why he did this. First issue he thought he was an alien so eating his sh-t had a few benefits in his mind: 1st benefit we could not study his sh-t. 2nd benefit he felt that alien sh-t had nutrients he could not get from our food. he would eat normal food but we found out he felt earth food was poison and alien sh-t fixed that. 3rd benefit alien sh-t is worth a lot of money so he did not want us to steal it. When we found out what he was doing I got to inform him that we were taking away his sh-t. He kicked me.”
Date Night
“I used to work with children that have autism and down syndrome which means a lot of play therapy. I had my moment when one of my clients wanted to sit on my lap while we practiced reciting animal cards followed with their corresponding noise. Forgot what animal noise I made that made him laugh so much that he ended up peeing on me from the laughter. That night was also date night.”
Ewwww
“I’m a therapist and have a few of these stories, but this story was actually told to me by a therapist friend of mine. He said that he was working in a mental hospital a few years ago, and he and other staff heard a loud scream from down the hall. They ran to go check it out, and got to a patient’s room to see blood all over his face and hand and realized he had torn his own eyeball out. They try to diffuse the situation and start looking around for the eyeball. They couldn’t find it. He had EATEN his own eyeball. I don’t know the reason the patient gave for eating and/ or removing his eye, but I will say it takes a pretty severe level of psychosis for a person to be able to do this. Honestly, he was probably more concerned about the ‘reason’ he needed to take his eye out than he was with the pain of it. I can’t imagine the emotional pain he must of been going through to be able to get to this point. I am a therapist for children who have been sexually abused. I could tell you some stuff that would disgust you even more, but I assure you no one wants that.”
Watch Out For Zombies
“Just today I conducted a threat assessment on a first grader who told his teacher he wanted to stab himself with a knife and die. Upon further questioning he revealed that he and dad watch the Walking Dead together and last time on the show he saw two people stab themselves to death because ‘they didn’t want to get eaten by the zombies’. Why are you even watching that show with a 6 year old?”
You Should Divorce
“Obligatory ‘not a therapist but …’ Friend and spouse were in couples counseling. Spouse was cheating. Therapist said, basically, ‘You are going to have to decide whether you want to stay married or have a relationship with X.’ Spouse responded ‘No, I don’t’. Therapist responded, ‘Wow, you are just an a–hole.’ Turns to friend ‘You should divorce.'”
Overdosing On Water
“Doctor I used to work with told me about a woman who tried to commit suicide so they put her in a safe room. She then proceeded to try and overdose on water, which he told me is possible but really damn hard to do.”
I Turned Out Ok
“Social work, not therapy but close enough. Me: We need to think of some new ways for you to discipline your daughters other than spanking. Client: But my parents did it to me and I turned out ok. Me: stares at this high school drop out drug addict who has spent his entire adult life in and out of jail/halfway houses, can’t get a job and had his 3 kids removed for abuse and neglect Okay… I actually did successfully turn this around in a gentle way and make him realize he hadn’t actually ‘turned out ok.'”
Spit Jar
“This recently happened to me! I have a client who is a daily methadone doser. During our last session he complained of sleep issues. Delving into this new issue he described his solution to me: he saves his spit in a jar to drink at night when he is unable to sleep. SAVES HIS SPIT IN A JAR TO DRINK LATER.”
The White House Drug Czar
“My hyperconservative parents sent me to an addiction therapist because they found out I smoked pot occasionally in high school. The therapist they chose was a former White House drug czar, a renowned authority on cocaine addiction and hard drug abuse, and an expert on rehabilitating extreme problem cases. My parents must have spent a fortune and pulled strings to get me an appointment. The first session he asks me what drugs I use. I told him I smoke pot like once a week and that was it. After a few rounds of ‘come on, you can trust me’, and ‘we can’t begin treatment until you admit your problem’ he realizes that I really do only smoke pot once in a while and literally says ‘you have got to be kidding me. Tell your parents you are a normal teenager and you don’t need to come back.'”
Jinxed It
“Have a master’s in clinical psychology and currently working towards my doctorate. I laughed reading this question because I feel like I have at least one of those moments per day at my clinic rotations, regardless of type of setting. One that stood out the most was when I was working a camp for children with various psychological disorders, most with some sort of behavioral concerns. The girl I was paired with had a history of aggressive and violent tendencies. We went the whole day without any problems. That was until we were doing some group physical activity to wind down and focus before leaving for the day. She didn’t like that this meant no longer playing with a certain toy, so she took off her shoe and threw it the little boy in front of her. He had autism and immediately started crying and screaming. While someone helped him, I turned to the girl to explain to her what she did was wrong. As I turned towards her, she punched me square in the face, then grabbed a hold of my hair. Managed to pull out a good chunk. I’m about 5’1, and this girl was maybe one or two inches shorter than me and had about 20 pounds on me, despite being 9 years old. Trying to get a safe physical restraint was difficult and comical to say the least. Finally got some help from other staff and we were able to calm her down after about 15 minutes. The kicker was when we told her mom what happened, she basically dismissed the entire thing and laughed about it- SO frustrating because you just know this kind of thing is reinforced at home as there is no punishment. The girl then starts hitting her mom, who grabs and holds down her arms. The little girl laughs, looks at me and the other staff member, and says, ‘ugh a little help over here?! Are you going to let her do this to me? She’s hurting my arm’. I went home and did this weird laugh/cry for a few hours. Luckily you learn pretty quickly not to take things personally and move on, so things were back to normal the next day. I do occasionally look back at that day just baffled at how quickly that whole situation escalated. Most of the other moments that come to mind involve poop in some capacity.”
Lightbulb Eater
“I was working surveillance one night at a psych ward, keeping a close watch on a mentally ill patient. Right before my shift started i was briefed that the patient had started eating one of the lightbulbs and attacked a nurse. At around 5am he woke up and saw me sitting there at the end of his bed, I said good morning and he didn’t reply. About 15 minutes of silence went by before he stood up and stared out the window and said ‘a person is most vulnerable while taking a sh-t’. I didn’t sit back down for the rest of my shift.”
Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and Dodge
“Worked one summer at a summer school for special needs children about two years ago when I was 14. I was just a teacher aid so most of what I was doing was playing with the lower maintenance children and just running errands for the teachers. One morning, I was helping the kids put their stuff into their cubbys and one of the kids was just standing in front of his, staring at me with his lunch bag in his hands. This was one of the more violent kids who would act up at the slightest of breezes, he was about 11 or 12 and had severe autism. I asked him if he needed help putting his stuff away and he replied with only some mumbling. I asked him to speak clearly and he said,’I’m going to hurt you’. I was really confused and asked him to repeat what he said. He then screamed at the top of his lungs,’I’M GOING TO HUUUUUUURT YOUUUUUU!’ And swung his lunchbox straight for my head. Luckily, I kinda expected this kind of thing to happen so I was ready to duck, and he missed. I was not allowed to even touch any of the students because I was not trained to restrain them, so until the teachers got him under control all I could do was run around the classroom as he chased me, until the teachers got him under control. Once the teachers restrained him, he was under control within about 10 or 15 minutes. When the teacher asked him why he did what he did, he said that he was angry because his dad didn’t bring him to Denny’s that morning. I was assaulted because a kid didn’t get to go to Denny’s.”
Potty Mouth
“I’m a speech therapist (that counts, right?) and I see this little kindergartener who also has massive behavior issues. We are working on language and pragmatics because he enjoys calling people ‘stupid f–king b–ches’ and ‘little dirty wh–es’ and ‘goddamn disgraces’, most likely for attention. He will walk around the room calling me a stupid b–ch, a smelly c–t, and repeating the word ‘f–k’ until he runs out of breath just to see if he can get a reaction from me. I would work on articulation with him because he doesn’t actually say those words correctly, but I figured best to work on that later after I’ve got the swearing and name calling down to a minimum.”
Disney Princess Addict
“One that sticks out in my mind was a mother that brought in her 5-year-old for therapy because she was into Disney princesses, which are clearly sexual and since a 5-year-old is nonsexual, this must clearly mean she’s being sexually abused by a close family member. I’ve also worked with countless couples who have come to counseling for adultery wherein adultery = porn. One client even became suicidal because she caught her husband jerking off after not having sex with him for months. I know everyone has different values, but c’mon, y’all.”
I’m Always Carrying
“My client told me his family didn’t appreciate his interest in guns, to which he proceeded to tell me he is always carrying. He then places his gun on the table in front of me and asked if it made me nervous. It did, but we focused more about why he wanted to know if I was nervous and it brought it back around to his family. From then on, I made sure to always have access to a door and never put the client between the door and myself again- just to be safe.”
Don’t Get The Cast Wet
“I work in a community residence for adults with mental illness. Most of them are very capable and independent. One girl (27yrs old) constantly acts really dumb for sympathy and will do dumb things because she can, I guess. First week she was admitted she tripped on something getting out of bed (she’s 5’1 and like 200 lbs) and she fell on her foot and broke some of the small bones in the foot. I take her to get her cast and she gets the usual don’t get the cast wet, use your crutches, elevate, blah blah. Since her bedroom was on the second floor, we had to send her back to her mother’s house for a few weeks since she would not be able to exit the building in time in case of emergency. Well 5 days later, the shoe/boot thingy to put over your cast comes in and we call her up saying we’ll bring it over. Her response– ‘well I don’t think it’ll fit’ why not, we ask. ‘because I cut my cast off, I got it wet and it was too tight’ They didn’t give her a second cast and she never used her crutches, claiming they were unstable and she would fall and get hurt if she used them. Her foot never healed properly and two months later she fell and broke it again. 1-She didn’t get a second cast because a) she would have to pay for it herself and she didn’t have the money b) doctors did not want to give her another plaster cast, fearing she would just cut that off too. Other options for a cast insurance wouldn’t cover. 2-Yes, being 5’1 and 200 lbs is severely overweight. Many times people with mental health issues come from low income backgrounds. Often people with mental illness are overweight due to lack of good healthcare, know-how to lose weight themselves, and inability to purchase healthy foods. 3- I can tell she acts stupid on purpose for several reasons, mostly that when she thinks we’re not watching she slips up and behaves normally and makes actual intelligent decisions. Also, she’s told us she thinks guys like her more if she’s stupid and she gets lots of sympathy from people for how stupid she is. 4- To the person who said she might likely lose the foot– she’s told us she wants her foot amputated because then it wouldn’t hurt so much.”
What?!?!
“Physical therapist (intern back then) … Old lady with dementia. I was walking with her in the hallway where visitors are as well. She says her pants is falling off (she can’t use her hands to pull it up, she has a rollator where she takes a lot of support). She is wearing a skirt, check it and I say.. Nah it is ok.. She says it again.. I say again that it is ok. 10 sec later a diaper full of sh-t drops to the floor almost making her fall. Prevent that but she dragged it a little bit and spreading the sh-t all over the floor… It smelled horrible…”
Well That’s Disturbing
“I’m currently taking a counseling and therapies university course, and we occasionally hear some stories from our professors in lectures or tutorials. One sticks out in my mind because I’d never seen an entire class shocked into silent horror before. A guest lecturer told us about a client he had who used a craft knife to cut open his own scrotum and took out what was inside because he wanted to look at it and play with it.”
Taking The Fall
“I had a client, an older female refugee that I worked with for several months before she told me that she had court the next week and was worried because she could be deported (if found guilty). She didn’t tell me earlier because she was ashamed and suffered in silence. She was living with extended family and the family got busted for smuggling and selling khat (a stimulant narcotic). The family determined that she would take the fall for her husband and sons who were behind the operation. At the arrest, the police brought an interpreter for a different language, from a different ethnic group, in a different country than the client was from. On top of that, she said the police didn’t have an interpreter present during the questioning at the station and she waited there for almost two days until they found an interpreter for her language. I asked her if she understood what was happening and she said her lawyer (public defendant she met once) told her she would be deported, beyond that, she had no understanding of the situation, process, etc. I had seen her psych eval stating that she had the cognitive equivalent of a seven-year-old. So I told her that we have information that could help her case and that her lawyer should see it as soon as possible. This was on a Friday, court was on Wednesday and the client didn’t know the name or any information about her public defender. We got a friend to help her collect the information, the client brought it to me on Monday, signed the ROI, lawyer called me back that afternoon saying they’ve got nothing to help this poor woman even though the case seems completely set up. I told the lawyer that we’ve got a whole bunch of insight and data and records that will get the charges dropped. I didn’t work Tuesday’s and was going nuts worrying and hoping everything would get to where it needs to and in the hands of the people who need to see it. On Wednesday news from court comes that all charges were dropped! I used to get all kinds of sprung on me at the last minute then have to perform all kinds of bureaucratic trapeze maneuvers to alter the outcome of high stakes situations. I wrote so many, many letters. I was hired to be a mental health provider, but I ended up doing tons of case management because nobody else wanted to.”