Admit it — these 17 new names are WAAAY better than their current ones.
Perfect!

Is butter considered the tanning lotion?
So Accurate It Hurts

Although you wouldn't want to leave it plugged in all the time.
That’s One Selfie You Don’t Want To Take

Won't be seeing too many duck faces in these "cellfies."
How Many Tourists Would Be Confused By This One?

Just like the real BBC — the English Channel isn't funny.
We’ll Sit Out This Hand

A straight flush must be when you knock the other knight off without breaking your lance.
We Smell A Lawsuit Coming

Don't talk ill of Mr. Trump, he will sue you for anything!
That’s One Trip We Don’t Want To Take

We don't want to go through a trip advisor that takes 30% of our money after it's over.
Who Calls It “Leaving Right After Sex?”

"Nuts and bolts" is pretty good, but we like the classic "hit it and quit it."
How Did We Never Think Of This Before?

That sounds way cooler than jet skis!
Don’t Mess With Success

That idiot was Stan Lee, and he'll send Spidey to come get you.
Joint Custody Will Send You Straight To The Slammer

We like this one since it's very blunt….sorry for the pun.
Where’s The Cattor?

Do they only help dogs out?
Insomnia Just Sounds Bad

"Why are you tried this morning?"
"I was up all night resisting a rest."
That Would Be A Very Painful Experience

Imagine if your toes actually went in to a coma — that would be the worst!
Why Not Call Them “Sandy Claws?”

Although, we really don't want them coming down our chimneys anytime soon.
This One Needs To Catch On

We ducked up our car, gotta take it to the autocorrect.
Hey Now, That’s Not Very Nice

His last name is Bell, so that's pretty darn close if you ask us.