Needless to say, there's no shortage of entertainment as a Wal-Mart employee.
The Prince Of Oklahoma
“We have a pretty heavy guy come in every few days (despite being banned several times). He rarely purchases anything, just rides his ‘Scootypuff jr.’ around and makes suggestive comments to the women in the store. When confronted, he will explain how he is a secret operative in the CIA, or how he is actually part owner of Walmart. My favorite line of his was that he was the ‘Prince of Oklahoma.'”
A True Mystery
“During my one summer working at Walmart, I was approached by a man in his mid-50s who asked where he could find ‘tiramisu containers.’ I never heard of such a specific item, so I asked if he wanted Tupperware and walked with him to the aisle where they could be found. Along the way, he proceeded to say the most stereotypical Italian phrases: ‘Bene!’ ‘Bravo!,’ ‘Mamma Mia!,’ etc. When we arrived, he thanked me and the other associate (a college-aged girl) who tagged along and gave me his card; it was plain white with ONLY his name and address. We were invited to his house for, ‘music, tiramisu, and ROMANCE!’ (we didn’t go). He then bought (I kid you not) at least 30 Tupperware containers. A month later, while stocking, a strange Italian accent behind me told me to, ‘Stick my hands up!’ This same guy returned and wanted to know where he could find ‘tiramisu containers.’ I asked if he wanted Tupperware and he proceeded to buy 30 more. I still wonder why.”
That’s An Interesting Three Months
“I worked at Walmart for about three months. In that time, there was a man with no pants, someone sleeping in a shopping cart, and some very mean Amish people.”
Never Change, People Of Walmart
“I had a guy come through my line wanting to buy a Flowbee (that 90s vacuum haircut thing). He wanted to barter with me for it. I tried telling him that corporate sets the prices, but he seemed to think I was personally profiting from it. He was extremely irate. He finally says ‘Fine! I’m not going to buy it then!’ I got a lot of people that think I control the prices or care if they buy something or not.”
Never Question This Man’s Frugality
“This one guy brought back a wooden toilet seat because it was cracked. He had the receipt which showed it was purchased 7 years ago. We refunded his money.”
Gotta Spice Up The Overnight Shift Somehow
“I worked as a merchandiser and would spend at least 75% of my work hours in Wal-Mart. During finals week, I would go in and stock shelves during the night shift. There was a night crew worker who would change his name tag daily. One night it was Owl. Next shift Night owl. Next shift Owl Night. Then Owl Knight. Then Knight Owl. This one employee had over 20 different name tags.”
The Cucumber Conspiracy
“I worked produce for almost three years. Once a month I had a run in with a customer about cucumbers. During food stamps week, it wouldn’t matter how much we’d order, we would always run out of loose cucumbers about two days into food stamps week and wouldn’t get any more until the next week no matter what. She would always show up during the time we ran out of cucumbers and pitch a fit and accuse us of waiting for her to show up to run out of the cucumbers. She accused us of hiding them on her, that we were deliberately messing with her. No matter what we said it didn’t matter. We were doing this on purpose and she was going to have us all fired. She always had the habit of arriving during my shift and I was usually alone, so after a I would just hide in the back room whenever I saw her.”
The Stock Image Man Is Following You!
“Had a women come in wanting to print photos, but she was convinced that our machines weren’t safe and that she would be hacked again. In all my idiot glory, I asked was she hacked before. This released an almighty conspiracy rant about how this Indian man was hacking her and posting her stuff online. She also claimed to have photos of this man and his wife. She printed off those photos as ‘proof’ for the police. The photos where stock images from google.”
Hopefully Not In The Same Day
“There was a lady that came in very regularly and demanded everything be double or even triple bagged, and would have a very loud meltdown when a cashier didn’t know this was her preference. Also, an older woman had sh*t fall out of her pants as she walked past my checkout lane.”
The Shampoo Bottle Most Likely Deserved It
“My mom works at a Walmart. She has an obese black lady who comes in almost daily, scooters around, and randomly yells at products. I saw her sternly lecturing a shampoo bottle when I went to meet my mom for lunch once. She’s always pretty chipper when talking with people, but some inanimate objects just really gets her goat I guess.”
The Partially Slighted Pervert
“There was this partially sighted blind man who could make out shapes, but not see well enough to shop on his own. He would have to be assisted, always by a male. This was because he would make very inappropriate comments about women. He had a fat girl fetish, and would ask you to tell him how certain people looked. He was banned from every other grocery store in town, and eventually he was banned from ours as well.”
Gee, Wonder Why She Quit?
“I worked at Wal-Mart in the late 90’s for a year in the Electronics department. We had a guy come in every week and buy something from our department. He would hold an employee hostage for at least an hour for whatever item he wanted to buy. Every insignificant detail had to be questioned and debated no matter the product (portable cassette player, universal remote, etc.). The very next day he would always bring it back complaining it didn’t work how he was told. And not just complaining, he would go livid about it and threaten to sue if he didn’t get his way. Turns out this was some elaborate ruse to get a chance to hit on the woman who worked the customer service desk ( let’s call her Rachel), and to top things off he was married. The days she wasn’t working is when he would actually come to the department and brow beat us like we had done something wrong. He eventually stopped when Rachel quit.” (Source)
That’s Not Treasure…
“An older guy, pretty dirty and homeless looking, came up and asked me to wring him up through the electronics register. He was leaning over like he had something in his jacket and his hand was inside. I thought nothing much of it, kind of expected to laugh later and say it looked like I was about to be robbed. Nope. As I scan his groceries he looks into me eyes and says with the creepiest face and smile “Do you want to see my treasure?” I just stared at him. What was it? A weapon? His meat and potatoes? Imagine my terror as he slowly opens his jacket to reveal what appeared to be a newborn puppy, very newborn and slimy, and very much not moving. I told my boss I had to go to break after that one.”
Fresh Breath Bob
“Okay, I worked for Wal-Mart for 5 years. In that time I met lots of strange, funny, interesting people. The one that stands out to me the most is a guy that I affectionately nicknamed ‘Fresh Breath Bob.’ He would come in and steal/buy as much mouthwash as he could carry to the end of the parking lot and proceed to drink it all. He would get hammered and belligerent but his breath was… just.. so fresh.”
The Cat Pee Lady
“We call her the ‘Cat Pee Lady.’ She comes in about twice a week smelling like a litter box that hasn’t been changed in a year. She will spend hours in the store just walking around talking to people, before departing with her 37 cans of great value tuna. She thinks she owns the place. Apparently she owns 25 cats but that could just be a myth. We have someone sanitize the cart she uses after she leaves the store just to make sure that other customers don’t have to smell that ungodly nose shattering stench.”
The Legend Of Cat-Man
“There was a man that the cashiers had all nicknamed ‘Cat-Man.’Cat-Man was weird. He had a salt and pepper bowl cut, parted straight down the middle and stopped at about the middle of his ears. He had a thick Walter Cronkite mustache that matched the salt and pepper coloration of his hair. Cat-Man came in about 3 times a week. He’d never have a full cart, it was always mostly empty. His groceries came out to be around $60-70 every time. It was mostly cat food. About 20 or 30 cans of wet cat food scattered the basket and a big bag of dried food was usually on the bottom rack. He’d occasionally buy human food like frozen pizzas or dinners, but not much. At the register, he was always very quiet and reserved. I can’t recall ever seeing him buy cat litter with all that cat food.”
Walmart Is Definitely Turning Up On A Tuesday
“A girl, quite pretty, comes in with some leather bondage type lingerie on a dog leash being strolled around by older white crack heads as she barks for them all over the store. She was asked many times if she was ok or needed help and she just barked at us. They paraded her all around the store for about an hour, bought her a chew toy and left. It was 3am on a Tuesday.”