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19 Of The Most Hilarious Ways To Mess With People In Public

By Morgan Dietrich
August 4, 2016
Shutterstock / Tom Harper Photography

It's always good to have a bit of harmless fun, right? If you agree, then you'll love these these 19 hilarious and simple pranks!

Give it up for Bill!

“Back in high school me and a couple of buddies were walking somewhere and my friend had to stop in a restaurant to use the bathroom. He desperately had to sh_t and the closest place was a diner type joint with restrooms in the back. He had to walk down the one isle of packed booths to get to the bathroom. As soon as the door closed I went to every table and told them my buddy just got a raise at work and he’s downplaying how great it is so when he comes out I’m going to start clapping and I’d love it if everyone would join me. The door finally opens after 10 minutes. I pop up and shout, give it up for Bill! And the whole restaurant starts cheering. I got them chanting Bill, Bill, Bill! I heard one guy say, ‘good job!’ Poor Bill was beet red in the face and really confused. He didn’t stop. He didn’t slow. He bolted right past us outside. I thanked the diners and left.”

The bagger

“Not an everyday way to f_ck with people, but I used to play a game with my baggers when I was a grocery store cashier. The bagger would see the customer’s cart come up and whisper an item in the cart to me. I would then have to ask the customer if they would like that item left out for the ride home. We were supposed to do this with bottles of soda or candy bars. It got weird when I’d have to ask the customer if they would like their mustard or pickles left out. You definitely have to make your own fun working a minimum wage job.”

The three-way phone conversation

“My favorite thing to do is to pretend to be on the phone near another person who’s actually on the phone. Proceed to respond to whatever the person on the phone is saying. Hilarious and harmless.”

The ripe melon

“In high school, my friend worked in the produce section of our local grocery store. I stopped by to chat with him once and an old lady walked up to us with a melon in her hand. The dialog went like this: Old Lady: ‘How can I tell if this melon is ripe?’ Friend: ‘Well, I’ll tell you what you do. You just hold it up to your ear, like so.’ [pantomimes holding melon to his ear.] Old Lady: [holds melon up to her ear.] Friend: ‘Then you just say: hello?’ Old Lady: ‘Hello?’ I laughed so hard I almost died.”

A good old fashioned wave

“My favorite thing to do in a crowd is to randomly wave at people, and then pretend like you waved at someone behind them.”

The line starts here

“Stand with intent. See if you can form a queue.”

The spare change trick

“In the store I worked at we used to glue coins to the floor and watch costumers try to pick them up and then go ape shit when they couldn’t figure out how to pick them up.”

The four digit code

“I look over people’s shoulders when they’re unlocking their phone so I can see their four-digit code. Then I pretend I’m making a phone call and VERY LOUDLY use their number in my fake conversation. ‘Yeah, the address is 8319 Main Street.’ It’s so much fun to see their neck snap back with this whatthef_ck look, and then watch them mentally process the depth of such a remarkable coincidence. It’s even more fun to do it with people you know and don’t really like.”

A seemingly polite prank

“Hold a door for someone who is decent amount away from it and watch them do a awkward walk or jog to get the door.”

The ripper

“I used to read at the Library of Congress. Very quiet respectful place, and gorgeous rotunda. I’d slip my own private piece of paper out of my pocket and begin every so slowly ripping it. Watch those heads jerk up from their reading.”

Off-centered eye contact

“While carrying on a normal conversation instead of maintaining eye contact, lock your eyes just a little bit off to the side looking at their ear or just beyond it. You want to be close enough to normal eye contact that they have to wonder whether or not they’re imagining it.”

Getting cozy in the theater

“Go to a bad movie by yourself in its third week so there’s only one or two people in the theater. Sit right next to them.”

The not-so-brain-damaged friend

“Anytime someone asks a friend of mine what he does for a living, he says, ‘Oh, I have brain damage,’ and just continues on with the conversation like nothing happened. He doesn’t have brain damage, he’s just a hilarious asshole who hates being asked where he works.”

The elevator creep

“When you walk into an elevator, just walk right on in normally, select your floor, then stare at the back of the elevator. It works incredibly well, believe me, I do this better than anybody. It’s harmless, it’s easy. Back pedal on your way out. Trust me, it works. It messes with their heads. It gets the job done.”

The fake argument

“My favorite is pretending to be having an argument with someone on a phone, telling them to come find you, and then describing someone else nearby. Just make sure you’re loud enough so that they hear you.”

The polite prankster

“Say ‘you’re welcome’ to the automated voices at self-checkouts at the grocery store when they say thank you for shopping at [store].'” Also, if someone knocks on the door to a public restroom while I’m using it, I’ll say ‘come in.'”

The pointer

“Point to the ceiling and say ‘your shoes are untied!’ I guarantee they look up at the ceiling.”

The illiterate joke

“Go to a book store. Find a person or group of persons browsing the shelves. Stand near by but not too close. Stoop a little and sigh. Say, ‘I wish i could read.'”

Gross eating habits

“Get a jar of mayonnaise. Clean it out really well. Fill it with vanilla pudding. Sit on a public bench and eat it with a spoon. Bring along a spray bottle with a cleaning fluid label on it and fill it with blue gatorade to drink.”

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