Turns out that zoos are way more intense than what the public gets to see. The animals can be vicious, and the poor zookeepers are the only line of defense for visitors. Naturally, some wild stories are bound to come up. Content has been edited for clarity.
Which Animals Would He Sacrifice First?
“So I was in charge of drafting the zoo’s contingency plan for all sorts of emergencies. Floods, tornadoes, extreme heat, war or attacks, you name it, I had to address it. This plan included a prioritized list of which animals in the collection we would have to sacrifice to feed the other animals in extreme situations. I literally created a zoo food chain. Humans were left off of this list entirely, so don’t worry. So how did I structure this list exactly? Good question! On the bottom, I listed the farm animals from the petting zoo, then came creatures like prairie dogs and meerkats. I can’t remember exactly what I added to the very top, but I am sure that it was the most endangered carnivores, like cheetahs and leopards.
As an added bonus story, I’ll just leave this here. We had to conduct animal escape drills periodically throughout the year. To get us really in the zone of this event, there would usually be one staff member dressed up in a gorilla suit, roaming around the zoo. It almost always culminated in a very dramatic yet fake tranquilizer scene. It was very hysterical, despite the serious reasoning behind it.”
How To Traumatize Dozens Of Kids At Once
“I worked at a zoo, specifically in their museum function, not with the animals directly. There was no glass in the big cats enclosure. There was a giant moat, which the tigers were always playing in, and a twenty foot straight vertical concrete wall. You could tell when the tigers were in play mode. They would pace back and forth along the edge of the moat and suddenly jump in ‘surprise’ and roll around on their backs. For the casual visitor, they seemed like oversized house cats. While they absolutely had small cat-like behaviors, I could never for a second forget what they were capable of.
There was one particularly traumatic event with the lions on a very warm and very packed day. The zoo was inside a large park, so various animals wandered throughout the zoo all day. One unfortunate day, a large deer fell into the lion enclosure. The lion stalked it and ran it down within about thirty seconds and tore the deer to shreds. This was in front of dozens of horrified adults and screaming kids. I felt kind of bad that so many people saw, but, it was circle of life after all. Disney prepared them for this moment.”
How Many Injuries Has This Guy Lived Through?
“The amount of injuries you can just casually pick up from animals is crazy. I have been kicked in the chest by a kangaroo, almost attacked by an emu, attacked by a wombat and a bat, bitten by a monitor lizard and a carpet python, had a rhino charge at me, and been scratched by a macaque. My old boss has this pretty intense scar from a snow leopard attack, and this guy I work with now has his entire left forearm mangled from an orangutan attack. It also shocks you how dumb people can be. There can be a huge sign that says, ‘Hello! I’m an echidna, NOT a porcupine!’ and people will still ask if that’s a baby porcupine. You get used to the same jokes every day. Like when you’re cleaning up the outside enclosures (in view of the guests), someone will eventually say, ‘Oh what a strange animal! I wonder what kind it is!’ in regards to seeing a human. Or the amount of people who scream, ‘HUMP DAY!’ when they see a camel. I have no qualms about picking up animal feces bare-handed. I know what my animals have been eating, I know what’s in their digestive systems, and to me that makes it more bearable. I can have long discussions about poop consistency with my coworkers, and in fact, that’s what a lot of general health talks are about. ‘Homer’s stool was a little looser than normal this morning, I wonder if something happened overnight to stress him out!’
You get used to being stinky. I currently work over eight hours with primates daily and I feel awful for the people who share a space with me when I go to the gym directly after work. Primate poop smells very similarly to human poop. When I was at the zoo, I smelled exclusively of rhino urine, and I could not get the smell off of me. Orangutans are NOT the gentle giants you think they are. All apes, and I mean all apes, have the capacity to maim/disfigure/kill if you tick them off enough. Don’t look primates directly in the eye for an extended period of time, don’t smile at primates, and for the love of god don’t invade their personal space. I also once had a piercing ripped out by a macaw, fingers and hands torn up from handling/training conures and other large parrots, and quite a few nasty bites from small mammals (hamsters, gerbils, and ferrets). A few injuries from horses, but nothing out of the ordinary.”
Where Did The Science Go?
“I’m a former monkey keeper of around five years. I worked at a sanctuary for rescued animals, or individuals that were not deemed valuable for breeding programs, due to disability or overrepresented genes. You would assume people need lots of qualifications to work with exotic animals like monkeys. This is completely untrue. The most important thing is experience, and you can get that at some really low quality zoos. It astonished me how little science and understanding went into the primates we cared for. Our lemurs had chronic diarrhea due to the unsuitable, high-sugar diets that they were fed. I made significant efforts to change this, but I don’t think the keepers ever listened to me.
Escapes happen way more often than you think. One time, our geriatric groundskeeper caught an escaped baby macaque in a net, with what was a very lucky leap. Another time, visitors were fascinated to see our langurs sitting peacefully on top of one of our enclosures. They had made it out through a hole in the enclosure. Visitors throw stones and rocks at the monkeys all the time. I would catch people once every couple of weeks. Monkeys truly are vile. I love them, but they are so gross. My favorite monkey was a rescued individual from Israel, who was so prone to violent mood swings that he had to live by himself. Every morning he would wait until the keepers arrived to make his breakfast, and he would sit on the wires and start urinating. Often times, he would try and get you to shake his hand, but usually he just ate whatever came out of him.”
He Heard All The Horror Stories
“So I was in charge of designing the equipment and cages for zoos specifically. I was told many horror stories about how some animals would get hurt or even killed because they were trying to find ways out of their caging. These animals can range from really stupid to incredibly brilliant. For example, I had to replace a giraffe indoor pen. The previous one had vertical bars, think old jail cell bars. A bull giraffe stuck his head out then turned and went back in to the side to see what’s behind him. He freaked out and essentially hung himself. So we couldn’t use vertical bars that they could stick their head through.
I witnessed a silverback gorilla having a bad day. He seemed tired of the crowd and put a box on his head to make the world go away. People kept watching, and he kept getting annoyed. Finally, he threw the box off, charged us, and pounded on the glass. I’m well aware that glass can take several shots from a high grade weapon. But the explosive bang from the gorilla hitting the glass was insane, and naturally it terrified everyone.
Ostriches run on instinct primarily. I designed a cage for the vet to better treat them. It was entirely enclosed and had multiple small doors all around the cage. The reason for this is the vet told me about an instance where an ostrich got its foot cut and needed stitches. They got the bird in the cage, and one vet fed the bird while the other stitched up the cut. No anesthesia, just a diversion. The bird just kept eating and didn’t care about getting the stitches.
In a different zoo, they needed to replace the caging of a very large bird of prey. I don’t remember the species, but I do remember seeing what it’s claws did to the aluminum tubing cage they kept it in. The aluminum was shredded, and whoever was on the other side was either going to have a bad day or get what they deserved for ticking off this bird. I of course went with stainless steel heavy gauge rod for the cage. The shop hated all the welding, but in the end the cage was way nicer and stronger than the old one.
I didn’t get to travel much with the installation crew, but I was in the shop supervising the building of caging. There were many times I had to have things re-welded or redone because of safety and quality control issues. Remember when you visit a zoo, that often times your life is depending on someone that wasn’t qualified, underpaid, and overworked. Whenever I visit a zoo, I look at the structure design and how it was put together. Too many times I see welds that are of poor quality and barely hold the structure in place, let alone stop something big and heavy that’s really upset.”
What Do Zoos Hide Away From View?
“So I wanted to address all of the older animals in our zoo that we take care of. Sometimes, people don’t realize there are older critters who have health issues. A lot of older fish we had were kept in the back tanks away from view, because people assumed normal old fish issues were a result of a lack of care on our part and would get upset if they were on display. Imagine having your seventeen year old incontinent dog in a zoo. People would think it looks emaciated and pathetic.
Along the same lines, zoos have improved significantly in terms of animal care over the years, but a lot of older animals have been in zoos since before these changes finally occurred. I remember working with a group of chimps, and one of the old chimps would play with himself while staring at me as I cleaned the outside of the enclosure. I had to remember this guy joined the zoo at a time when they would dress chimps up in kids clothes and make them have tea parties and weird stuff like that. He had some mental issues that weren’t his fault. Thankfully, that troop has gotten much better housing and care, and has now started acting more normally, even reproducing with their own troop members and acting like real apes should.”
My Best Friend Is A Tiger
“Way back when in the nineties, I did some work at the Oakland zoo. There weren’t many of us, so we got to choose where we helped out. I chose to work with Bhakti, the almost thirty two year old Bengal Tiger. He was nearly the oldest living creature in captivity when he finally passed. I chose him because he was beautiful, and he always seemed lonely. He had pacing syndrome hardcore, so his entire paddock was green and lush, except for the paths along the outer fence line and one or two diagonals he used to get into and out of his night cage. The keepers did their best with him, but they had clearly written him off. He was grumpy, unsocial, hid from the public, swiped and hissed at keepers, and ignored all of the enrichment toys and food put out to keep him mobile.
They had a few young Siberians in quarantine already waiting to be put on display, they just had to wait for him to pass, but the stubborn old cat lived to spite them. He always started the morning by pacing his fence line, so I started pacing with him. No eye contact, no sounds, just walking back and forth for an hour or two. After a couple weeks, he started chuffing at me when I arrived, so I learned how to mimic it to say hello back. Another month, and he would actually break his pacing circuit to walk with me, jogging his ancient arthritic butt from wherever he was across the green sections to match me. The poor guy just needed a friend. I still get a bit misty eyed thinking about him. Just a lonely old cat who had to spend the last years of his life basically alone. Don’t get me wrong though, the keepers really did do their best, but they just couldn’t spend all day with him like I could. They had many duties and creatures to care for, and he had a really steep barrier to entry as a friend. As grumpy as he was, I still think he was a very good boy.”
Never Stop Working
“The job is 24/7. Even where you’re not working, you’re still working. And it’s like 90% cleaning poop, urine, and food leftovers, food containers, and various buildings. And you also have to answer some very dumb question, such as, ‘Is the cheetah right there the youngster of a lion?’
That kind of question truly make you understand how dumb people can be, and how much they need to be educated about wildlife. If you’re working with small primates, you will be peed on at least once in your career. Birds can show love in a quite painful way, but you still love them because they are way smarter and amazing than most people know. And you always watch you back, and never turn it to some species. Fun fact, the skin between an hippopotamus’ nostrils is super smooth under the hand. But yeah, don’t pet them for no reason. And sometimes, you will just have to stand in front of an enclosure for hours in order to monitor your animal’s behavior. They like to give this job to trainees or interns.”
The Sharks Are Just As Vicious As You Expect
“I work at an aquarium, and the people always ask about whether the sharks that are in with the fish ever eat the fish. Officially we say, ‘We keep them well fed enough that they don’t,’ but on more then one morning on my initial walk around, I have found remains of fish that definitely weren’t feed fish. On a particularly memorable occasion, I found the head of a large porgy just sitting on the bottom. A diver went in and got it before guests arrived. I arrive in the morning, an hour before guests arrive during ‘peak season hours’, which during the slow season. is the same as two hours before guests arrive. I do a quick run through of exhibits I work at to look for anything amiss, generally looking for fish that died of natural causes, or are looking injured, or ill, though rarely do I find evidence of predation. Then I go to the kitchen for food prep and make sure the animal’s food for the exhibits I cover is all ready to go. At a certain time I go to fetch left over food from the dolphin trainers that is specifically for the sharks. The dolphins get the best fish in the aquarium, and the sharks get their leftovers.
Then we take the food we’ve prepped and go out to feed. The exhibits I work at all have sharks. We target feed them, which means we give them food directly. This is done using buoy they are trained to go near, and those mechanical claw hands grabby hands. Really the sharks are generally kept well fed enough that they don’t predate the other fish, but there are still occasions when for whatever reason they do. Maybe a fish gets injured and they smell the blood, or they’re not feeling well, or are feeling particularly picky about their food. After feeding the sharks, we broadcast feed for the rest of the fish, which us means we are spreading their food around all over the tank, so that the fish can get it themselves. I also used to do food prep for a sea turtle, which involved putting heads of lettuce on a fake rock for her to eat and cutting up fruits and vegetables for divers or the senior aquarist to hand feed her. She loved Brussel sprouts, sweet potato, carrots, and peppers. Unfortunately she passed away recently. Generally during feeding, guests will start to arrive, which is the advantage of arriving at opening to zoos and aquariums, you get to see the animals being fed. And in this case, I would also answer questions guests directed towards us. I’m a little more social then the aquarists I work with, so generally I’d take the questions, though the senior aquarists did step in to field certain questions for PR reasons. Then after feeding is done, I do the dishes, ask if they need anything else, then generally go home. I mostly haven’t been working since the quarantine started, but I did go back briefly after they started letting volunteers come back. But the number of guests put me off. However, I’ll be fully vaccinated soon and look forward to going back.
Generally, the sharks kept well fed enough that they don’t feed on their tank mates. Live salt water fish are more expensive than the fish market fish we feed them. But occasionally for one reason or another, they do predate other fish.”
The Sea Lion Felt Bad For Him
“I have to share this magical memory that I treasure! I worked in a zoo quite a while ago, and I was the only employee working in a little cabin serving food in front of the sea lions. One particular summer, they scheduled me to work on my own there every single day because I was dependable. The sea lions performed a show at one in the afternoon. On sunny days, I was too busy providing food for the humans during the show to see. When it rained, I was blessed. The zoo keeper that was in charge of the show had to show up anyways to feed the sea lions, and one zoo keeper had asked me, ‘Don’t you get lonely there?’ when I just started working there. I replied, ‘Kind of’.
Ever since, when it rained, with no people there, the sea lion would go and perform the whole show specially for me. I clapped and cheered, and she even bowed at the end. On those days it was me, and maybe one parent and a kid that ran by and stood by the cabin to shelter from the rain. They would buy ice cream and say I had a nice job. That was an especially smart sea lion, and I really treasure the experience of seeing a nearly private show of this sea lion. Unrelated, I’ve also witnessed a group of baboons tearing a pigeon to shreds. Monkeys are savage creatures.”
The Birds Are Way Smarter Than We Think
“I worked at a zoo a few summers ago, specifically in the bird house. The job mostly consisted of chopping fruit, filling bowls with live meal worms, and cleaning. Oh my god, there was so much cleaning. Captive penguins have trouble swallowing on their own, so you have to kind of shove fish down their throat. Oh, and the more social ones will hump your leg. It involves a lot of wing flapping.
There was a bird at that zoo with clipped wings that occasionally sits on a perch outside, without a real cage. He’s not going anywhere from there, but he sleeps in the indoor enclosure. When being trained on how to feed him, I was told not to fall for the sweet ‘I love you!’ spiel. He goes for the eyes. I would use my hand as bait under the cage so he would move away from the door, then quickly swap out his food plate before he realized my other hand was actually in reach. Brand new baby birds are both cute and horrifying to behold. The zoo had Keas, which are an incredibly smart species of large parrot. We’d give them boxes full of fruit that they would have to take apart a certain way to get in, and they loved it. I heard they’ve been known to occasionally ruin people’s engines for fun in New Zealand, but that could be a rumor. It was a great summer.”
The Good (And Very Weird) Parts Of Working In An Aquarium
“I’m an aquarist of ten years, so I’m one of the people who reeks of fish all the time. Getting the smell of squid you’ve prepped off of your hands is only possible with bleach. Artificial insemination of large sharks (for the purposes of developing procedures for vulnerable species) is as ‘interesting’ as you might think. One day our vet used a broken popsicle stick as a speculum on a black tip reef shark, and every female aquarist at the procedure collectively shuddered. Squishing a sample out by squeezing the claspers on a shark’s privates is…. oof.
When I started as an intern, my supervisor said we are glorified janitors. People don’t realize how technical being an aquarist is, because we care for the system that keeps everything running and all of the filtration. I know how to plumb, drive a forklift, and am great with all sorts of random tools. Between cleaning the filtration that collects poop and scrubbing algae out of my exhibits, I really am a fancy janitor.
The things people seem to find most interesting are how the fish (including large sharks) have complex behaviors and can be trained. The goldfish memory thing is a myth. We can also anesthetize fish (including large sharks) and keep them alive out of water. We pump water with anesthesia in it into the mouth, and it then runs out over their gills, allowing them to take up oxygen and the anesthesia. You can do this while they’re up on a procedure table that looks like a human surgery table, so you can do whatever surgery or procedure is necessary. We give veterinary care to even the tiniest of fishes and invertebrates. Their welfare is excellent.
The nastiest (and saddest) thing I’ve seen is necropsies on wild rehab sea turtles, when they either died in the wild or we weren’t able to save them. This means we perform an autopsy on a turtle who passed away, and we find all sorts of plastic garbage trapped inside of them. Going through the intestinal tract to look for impactions (usually plastic) is especially gross, and there is a smell that never leaves your nose. Do everything you can to reduce your use of plastic and vote for things that will help our planet.
The toughest part of the job is the interpersonal aspect. Managers used to be aquarists, and aquarists are animal people, not people people. People skills don’t come naturally, and neither does managing. Coworkers can also be judgemental and toxic. The pay isn’t very good, and the job is completely exhausting mentally and physically. It isn’t unusual for me to walk five miles a day on top of diving for hours and climbing fifty flights of stairs. Then there’s the mental aspect of always worrying about your animals, or if you made a mistake that could hurt your animals. It’s not a job you turn off at the end of the day.
That being said, the job is amazing. I’m a coral specialist, and caring for coral is like being an awesome underwater gardener. Getting paid to go open ocean diving, and to go to conferences in cool cities to share knowledge with others is super amazing.”